Just Emkaying: 2011

Dec 23, 2011

Family, Marriages and more

After a long time I met a lot many of my extended family. My Cousins, their families, my uncles,aunts and of course the "chachi ki uncle ki mami ki behen ke bade papa ke side wale ghar ke neighbour ki dusri bhen" types.While initially some where skeptical about me being me (thanks to the 40 extra kilos, and about 3 ft of height), they were assured when mom addressed me as her son. Which reassured me that mom still recognized me. Not that she had a choice.

Dec 14, 2011

Shakespeare makes an entry

Over tea and samosas, he told me to read this verse from Shakespeare. I almost choked on the tea, but managed to keep the samosas in. Not that the samosas or any food had anything to fear once I had'em. Samosas are great way to spend evenings, and that too with that spicy chutney. And those Kachori's with hot tea and warm Jaleb.......wait.

Shakespeare. Yes.

So he told me to read this verse and get back to him with my interpretation of the same. Now I know the conversation we had bordered on past and previous and current endeavors of a romantic kind, but Shakespeare? Seriously? Me? I would have thought a man to man talk would suggest a movie-thon of blood spilling, weapon totting, forest burning, action heroes in dark raining locales. But this was new, and he insisted. And yes, he is the well read types, and yes he is my friend. Yes, I have all sort of friends. No, I can't give you M S Dhoni's phone number.

So when I did this search, this is what came up: (Please don't roll you eyes, even If you don't want to read. Just read the highlighted lines!!! See how much I care for your readership?!)

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The thronéd monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthronéd in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That, in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy. 
I have spoke thus much
To mitigate the justice of thy plea;
Which if thou follow, this strict court of Venice
Must needs give sentence 'gainst the merchant there.
—Act IV, sc. i

OK, so now this verse is from the "Merchant of Venice" and this particular verse is also called Portia's speech. I read an abridged version in school and to sum it up - This babe gets in court and saves her boyfriend by telling the merchant he can take a pound of flesh (as agreed in the bond between aforementioned Boyfriend) but not a pound of blood. (Smart, no?) But not before making a plea of mercy.
Of Course, the Merchant was bitch-lawyered. You can read the long, winding explanation on Google.

So where do I fit in?

No, No, I haven't signed a bond for flesh. And I don't have a girlfriend doing bargains for my blood (lots that I have) 

You will agree with me, that when we don't get what we want, when we are treated badly by close friends, when you don't get that job, when Apple screws you with no OS updates for old I phones, we go two ways. One, We get angry and jump around (of the Angry Birds ishtyle), scream & throw tantrums and then shut up. Two, we scheme for revenge.You want to Kolaveri-di their asses to hell-u. *smirk* . It then proceeds-u to get messy-u, bitter-u and blood-u all around. No one wins-u. Everyone looses-u. 

Not one to be left behind, I tried. I tried getting angry and jumping around (not easy at 100+ kilos) screaming (thank you sore throat) and shutting up. Dint help. I tried scheming for revenge, the farthest I could go was to not open the door or maybe drop a call. Not very helpful, must say. I care too much.

Anyways, bottom line. Sooner or later, things move on. And living in limbo is more painful. We were discussing the way forward (ugh I hate that power point slide title) it seemed to my friend that things could get brutal. He's been around for quite a while you see, and he's known me for 5 years now. He's got a front narration of the previous scripts, so, yeah. 

So hence his gentle reminder that, you don't need to cut open a vein to sort things out. You can do it graciously, you can do it mercifully, and not load your prejudices and sarcasm tipped arrows at the target. After all, as a friend, being there through thick and thin, is applicable to oneself as well. So, you can walk away with your head held high and not get influenced by choices others make. You can still make it your choice. 

And so...

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,..."


Dec 13, 2011

The Plank Man

I sit on the plank
Feet Dangling in the air
Its eerily cold
And the sun is on its way down
Others have boarded
And the sails are torn

There's not much time
And I've had my say
But no one's listening
Should I turn away?
So many choices on the Ship
The plank is Creaking

With a torn Sail
Where will you go?
The sun is setting and its dark
Don't get Lost and broken,
Don't run ashore
Wait some time
And think some more

You're eager to sail
Its a stormy sea
That lies ahead
Its not the journey you should fear
Its the conviction
That it is what you want

Get a new sail, or sail in this
Chase a setting sun or the full moon
You're your own captain
There's no right or wrong
But ensure
That you'll never sail alone

The plank is creaking
The sun is gone
One end is ashore
One end is yours
Sail Away or come ashore
The plank is creaking,
Can't hold on anymore.


Nov 16, 2011

Loss and Gain

So, I never thought I'd be on a back to back flop show, as much as I would have hoped it would have one positive. I think the last 1.5 years have been the most eventful in my life.

I would love to say this in poem format, but then theres (no apostrophe #INYOURFACE) nothing left to hide. For the first time in my life, I told a person that am crazy about her and got a "no" back. Much better than having a "no" without saying it. That too, just a few months ago I was riled with heartbreak with no closure.(Read previous post here)

And what fun it is, knowing that there are so many undercurrents. Boy like girl. Girl don't know. Girl likes someone else. Gets married to someone else. In between Guy likes someone else. Some one else already in something else. And then someone else likes someone else. And, wait WHAT? *camera pans out* *repeat still-shot thrice in Eastman color* *sad music*

Yep, Ekta Kapoor stole it from me.

So now, where were we?

Ah, telling something to someone. Surprisingly, I haven't lost a drop of my Louuuuuuve. But now its directed at a good buddy. Not a dime less, just more.I feel the just the same, but more happier and more clear. I seem to have gained a lot lot more.

Of course there's nothing wrong in still harboring hope :P

As mentioned elsewhere,things will get better and for everything and anything the lame guy is always there. #beforeIturnawesome

Cheers Buddy!!!


PS: Ab tho comment kar.

Bye Bye Letter

Though this would be published well after it is due, it's been on my mind for quite some time. You see, most of the important things have a place in history. Or timeline as Facebook would want us to call it. But the point is, I have either managed to keep it away from you, or been incompetent to let you know by way of my actions.I have additional conspiracy theories, having to do with world domination, leather pants and others, but lets not go there.

Apart from my naivety with love as it is with women, you have managed to remain an enigma even to date. Your smile still makes me smile, your chit chats still keep me guessing, and your sense of confusion at your own simplicity/complexity amuses me. Our first conversation had to do with a certain kind of snack (divine intervention?) ,Of course I remember what it was that you said, as surely as I know that you wouldn't have a clue. Recalling it here, would be a complete giveaway nonetheless.

When I fell for you, what made it difficult was, that it was within the walls of a corporate environment I had just joined, and away from the support system that I had so carefully built around me. You see, its not like its not happened before, but past failures only made me more determined, and then you happened and it became this beautiful big mess. Like Sambhar. *Sigh*

So while I mustered the courage, trying to keep in sync with your complexities,the 'me' got lost and went overboard in trying to impress you. Over Cocktails and Coffee a desperate attempt was made to know you, and days spent in pondering over your giggles for hints. But as you know, you were in your own turmoils then, and I just pretended I didn't know.

You really drove me up the wall sometimes. Empathy is something you absolutely are not good at, and you have the attention span of a butterfly, or whatever is shorter. Sure, in your defense I never said anything, but maybe if you looked over your shoulder, in between the yes-no-maybe-sigh-off thing you were on, you could've made it out. You're really smart you know.

Over time, when I decided to finally give it a shot, you threw some photos at me, which threw me into a downward spiral. Those Pink Floyd / Trance music video type spirals. And that was that. I must say that cabin boy saved me from having to make an awfully hard decision. And I would have given it up hadn't it been for the aforementioned cabin boy's last minute plan. So guess I owe him.

And then there are the gadzillion things in between which have been discussed in fine detail over bottles of malted barley and fermented grain and what not with willing and unwilling ears.(at First willing, and then unwilling)

There's no running away from these "one sided " things. You know that rubbish about Emotional Quotient and all that jazz. All Rubbish. The response has just been delayed, like a rubber band stretching itself. It will rebound some day somewhere. People told me to effect "closure" by telling you about it. But I blogged about it. Better chances, I tell myself.

To say I am not bitter sometimes, is a lie. But Yes, that you will do well for yourself is something I wish and hope will come true.

Bottom line, is that I am at peace.There's not much buzz anymore and you've revamped yourself. Things have moved on. I won't say its the end of a chapter. Stories live on long after the books are closed. I will still miss you as a dear dear friend, whom I sadly didn't spend enough time with.

So now, can effectively say "been there done that". Again.

Trying to get back to that happy street puppy feeling you keep talking about.


Nov 15, 2011

Morality and more such nonsense

I come back to the same question. Is doing the right thing really that important? The right thing comes to me as naturally as crotch grabbing comes to Michael Jackson (his own or otherwise). Yet I don't feel right after years of what I thought was sensible, morally acceptable living. The world, for some unfathomable reason, doesn't seem to revolve around me.

Oct 29, 2011

I'll say Hi

I won't walk up to give you a Hi
Doesn't mean I didn't see you from the corner of my eye
Smile I might, perhaps a little shy
But its not attitude, you've just got me a little high

Sooner or Later, we will meet
And at my nervous best, I shall be
I will mumble and fumble,but I will be true
I can't help it. Am stuck on to you

Once we talk, I'll make you laugh
Maybe we'll click, maybe not
But then I wouldn't be here, If  I wasn't sure
One look, and I'll know, were going to rock!!!

By now were close, hanging out
I'll think and think, there creeps a doubt
Maybe your thinking, wondering too
Is this the one, give me a clue

And here it comes the time to decide
you'll look at choices, you'll have the time
Hope against hope, you'll make up your mind
And keep it from me, you'll expect me to understand

So its happened before, its true I've gone numb
I don't bother asking, its been more than some
I've lost faith, I've made up my mind
There's nothing to do when things unwind

You'll keep acting, pretending its fine
Or maybe it was just me all the while
I won't be bitter, I won't cry
I'll wish you well, and hug you good bye

Another day, as time flies by
I'll even walk up to give you a Hi
Smile I might, perhaps a little coy
But its not for you, its for the lovely one by my side


Oct 28, 2011

Formula One - Ra One Fever

First of all am not an F1 Fan. I don't even understand the sport, though all the "Excitement" that the newscaster on Sports center manages by hustling in her seat has caught my attention. I do remember a classmate of mine in college,  who listed F1 as a sport she followed seriously, which made the rest of us roll our eyes. Its only when she let loose a barrage of statistics like her favorite driver Michael Shoe maker , Smuch maker, Schumacher that we all shut up. And avoided her.

Oct 24, 2011

Visakhapatnam to Vijayawada

So another of my official visits takes me to a new locale, the lovely city of Vizag, aka Visakhapatnam. Its funny cos, a couple of months ago, a friend of mine who was a regular to this place asked me over a beer as to where it was , and I said Tamil Nadu. My other smart friend said Kerala. Figures I scored bad at Geography.

Oct 21, 2011

Peace and Love

How long is long,
How long is right
When do you know,
To quit or to fight?

Feeling so tired,
Life isn't fair
But you know that already
Is it so bad to despair?

Its you vs them
Them vs someone else
That is where it ends
How much longer?

The trophy beckons
So much at stake
Yet each time, leaves me broken
Someone takes it away

I keep quitting, keep her at bay
No more aches, no more tries
When the time finally comes
I shall find, what deserves to be mine


Sep 26, 2011

The Coffee Shop Characters

The following post is a work of fiction.Any resemblance to you, your friends or relatives is purely tough luck. Nonetheless, if you feel offended you can sue the Coffee Shop.

Characters you'll meet at random coffee Shop:

1. The Regulars: This one comes into the coffee shop as if he owns the place. He'll nod his head at the cashier as if they actually know him, and won't place his order until they ask him. He'll smile and joke with the staff, and look at all the women as if they were in his Harlem. Eventually, he'll walk out waving at the staff, who are totally confused.

Sep 19, 2011

Here come the Parents

Yes Guys, they're coming. After 2 false alarms and multiple rounds of emotional negotiations, the parents are arriving on 16th. In the event that I never return to this blog, please come looking for me, as I might either be married off to some "good, homely girl" or be in one of the "the eligible bachelor" carnivals, roaming and being displayed from house to house to the parents of aforementioned females.

Apart from steeling myself from having 50% chance of seeing a lot of photos of women

Angry Birds go on fast


In startling developments, The Favorite of jobless people world over,  the Angry Birds, have now gone on an indefinite fast. Millions of users around the world are now finding it extremely difficult to cope without the angry birds, as having to use Chrome for actually searching rather than pretending to search is becoming job threatening. Medical Institutions have reported a 15% drop in patients with squinting eyes and thumb numbness, warning that numbers could go higher, destabilizing the app world.

When contacted, The Mighty Eagle,

Sep 17, 2011

The Story Book 3 - In Between

Pre Read
The Story Book 1 
The Story Book 2

While everyone was aware that Murali was around, I felt his presence more than anyone. After all we were two opposite's drawn together by the same differences. I remember having told him on my roof top one day that we are destined to come together and keep fighting. Nonetheless, my goal was to stay away from him, and to not get involved with anything remotely starting with a Mu

Sep 16, 2011

From then till now

Started with a note, ended with a cry
And then all joined, make fun of the short guy

Then there was a painter, but had to cross the sea
That left innocent tears, and memories

Soon it was school, the nicknames just fade
Who really bothers, at that time and age

Then it got serious, a deal was made
A Stone reached out for the Sun, an outsider made hay

Blood was shed, none could be seen
The Sun ran away, life was mean

And then another and another, sense prevailed
Some were anchors, and others just derailed

And a voice was heard, and heard it remained
reasons unknown, it went as it came

A shoulder was given, an ear for a tear
Time healed a wound, and opened another near

A word was said, a cookie shared
But remained memorable moments, here and there

Before one ends the other starts,
And before it starts, it too ends.

And so it goes, and so it is said

From then till now,
A Heart lost to the head.


Sep 11, 2011

Sidelines and more

Continuing from my previous post (more of a drunk slurry rant actually), I reflect and see that there may be a thing or two I missed.

When someone takes to the sideline strategy, you are aware of the risk you're taking. In fact more than anyone, you know that chances are that if the strategy goes on for too long, you probably are gonna get cut off.

Again, the sideline strategy is one of the few final measures, one that is used best as a quick short term thing, and by a very close friend.

However, the sideline strategy is sometimes not just administered to help someone contemplate and reflect, or correct something ,or giving some personal space. It is also a SACRIFICE. A supreme one at that.

People move from center court to the sidelines to make way for someone else, who can do much more than what they can. However, unlike in sport,in life you cannot be sure that you get back in or are able to influence a result in your favor.

It's left to the trust and faith you have in life and a higher power to get you back in the center, or to help you find a new court.

Sometimes you realize that you were in the wrong court from the word go.

Letting someone go for their own good, is the most painful and noblest thing a friend can do.

To nobility, Cheers!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sep 10, 2011

In the sidelines

We all consider ourselves as good friends, always there for our best buds and others as well.

There are times when you laugh with them, and cry with them, yell at them and of course beat the crap out of them. It's all part of the gift of friendship.

But as my readers would agree, the toughest is when you have to let them go free, let them find their way out because no one else can.

Like a coach in the sidelines you edge them on, cheering their victories and letting them learn from their falls. For their own good. Sometimes pain brings a lot of learning and wisdom, which no one else can impart.

And while you play the role of devils advocate, standing at the sidelines, someone comes around and inadvertently hits the right spot with you friend, whom you so tried to protect.

In a moment your not relevant, your not the first choice, and your not the first one on the speed dial.

What you painfully did looks like torture, and all of a sudden the silent judgment is passed that you've been insensitive and selfish. Reminds me of how Rocky was treated by his protege in Rocky 4.

And thats where it ends. From the high pedestal, to waiting in the sidelines, for ever more.

It's been too many sidelines, and too less for me in my sidelines.

Sometimes it's like a corner of darkness, in the sidelines...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Aug 29, 2011

Mumbai, Marine Drive and Vada Pav

My close friends know that I have Mumbai-phobia. For a very old reason, the place terrifies me, in fact the possibility of having to travel by " the local trains" will ensure I don't board the flight in Bangalore, or even catch the meru cab to the airport. None the less, Mumbai is very different, very welcoming, and has a culture that is very different from most cities in India, and this is visible from the moment the plane touches down on the runway. (example follows later)

So I got this opportunity to attend a workshop that was important and last-minute enough to have me land in Mumbai on 25th Aug. Unlike other trips, this had nothing to do with asking people why they drink liquor, or why a shop sold liquor, where's my liquor,etc

Aug 20, 2011

Of Heart Attacks and ICU Escapades!!!

First up, I am perfectly alright, my heart is in great shape and this has been ratified by one of the leading cardiac surgeons in Bangalore. Second, if you are still concerned, you can send me cash, expensive electronic equipment(I Phone 4, I Pad, Mac books..) and goodies to make me feel better. Third, if any of you good folks speak to me again in a manner that resembles speaking to a man on his death bed, I shall sue you.

Aug 15, 2011

Life's still a bitch

Forewarning Dear Readers / Subscribers. This is rant, a follow up on my previous one.. You can choose to read and curse me, or delete and skip.

Pre read - You know, Life's a bitch and Snakes and Ladders. You can know more about my rants by searching for ramblings under labels and reading the last few posts under it. Which shall warn me that I have a potential stalker at hand. (Am just humoring myself that someone would go through all the trouble)

Anyways, there was this one time when I wasn't there for someone very important. Very, Very Important. And the poor buddy of mine got actually beaten up, with me watching. Doing nothing. I guess in a way I have never gotten over it, and till day I regret it.

So I had decided that I would never let anything of that sort happen again. I would be there for my friends. And I can honestly and shamelessly say, that till date, I have. Its a different thing that there are some people who forget you once they are off and sailing in a different boat, any ways its not a bother.

My Point in this post is, the frustration when you don't have a solution to someones problem. You don't know what you can do, you don't know if what you do can create more trouble, and most of all, if you are the problem and are not realizing it.


Aquarians have two major weaknesses. One they are not very good with emotions. They may love someone with all their heart, yet they will never be able to express it. On the other hand, they hate someone enough to kill them, yet will tolerate them on a daily basis. The Second weakness is that they look very normal on the surface. Deep down they live a life of daily conflict with their principles and the urge to break free from monotony.

I am an Aquarian.And believe me when I say this, Life is a bitch. Its frustrating to see friends move away. Its frustrating not being able to help a friend. Its even more frustrating to have to adapt to this every year, and live with the fact that its going to happen again. It hurts because we can't live without people around us. And we are quick to get attached to people!!!

I sometimes wonder if I am a nut case. I really do. I wonder if something happens to me, would any of the people I so care about bother? I pride myself on not having given people reason to hate me, unless its my nature they hate.I keep dreaming that someday I will find someone who'd be the missing link. There have been many false alarms in the past and some are in process, but you never know. Now I am ranting. Sheesh, think about thinking this way every minute!!!

Anyway, I have by know forgotten the point of this post, but its made me feel better. So there.

To all my boy and girl pals, I love you loads!!!


Travelling to Ladakh - Leh Part 2

You might want to start with the previous post in this article, at Travelling to Ladakh - Leh

So where was I ?, Ah Manali!!! Well to be honest its a nice town, nestled on the top of the hills, giving you a nice view of the entire town. However, I must say that the fame of the town is quite exaggerated. It is a beautiful place none the less, but I have seen better down South.

It was important for us to make the trip from Delhi to Manali and then Ladakh to get accustomed to the weather. Its not easy to adapt to the thinner air in the mountains, and we in spite of the road trip, had a tough time adjusting.

Anyways, we left for Ladakh, on an Toyota Innova at 2 Am in the night. 20 minutes on the ghats and a couple of horses later trouble stuck. The ice was melting on the roads, making it very sludgy. This was a bigger problem as the roads were under construction and everything was dug up. We must of got out at least 4 times to push and once with the help of the car behind us before the driver's side-winding nerve-racking tyre-burning tricks got us stuck in the sludge.

We then hitch hiked a cattle truck to reach across the major section of the road, before the road got blocked.

4 Am at Rohtang Pass may not sound amusing, with the cold and all, but when you get to see the sunrise amongst snow capped mountains and the morning mist, there are no words to describe it. Take a look at the snaps on the right!!!

Unfortunately, or in hindsight fortunately we got the chance to soak in the beauty of the Rohtang pass, were alternatively if things had gone well we would have missed the beautiful snow covered peaks of Rohtang and instead would have sped by in the darkness of the night.

We were stuck in the pass till about 10AM, by when the roads were dry and excavators were brought in to push away all the soft mud. But our vehicles tyres were so burned out, that it just wasn't going ahead. Finally after some 10 people put their hands on it, did the vehicle actually move ahead. This delay cost us time and later money as well, as we dint have time to drive back and had to fly instead.

I will skip all the sites in between, and head directly to Sarchu Base Camp. Because we got delayed, we had to make camp at a site in Sarchu. Though apparently a village, the only thing we saw was an army installation and two base camps. The camps are well set up, each tent with its one bathroom, a general kitchen and food, with good clean beds and blankets.

Its a few hours before this camp that the thin air got to us, and the head pounding began. Its the worst feeling in the world. You cant sit, stand, talk or do anything. Your head just keeps banging and banging. The solution? Chewing on Garlic, and Mint tea. I have since fallen in love with Mint Tea. Amazing!!!

We left in the morning after feeling better, and continued the journey. We had our lunch at Pang, which hosts the second highest transit army camp in the world. Till we reached Ladakh, we had a tyre puncture and another road block, before we actually reached Ladakh.

More on the Ladakh and Leh Sight Seeing in the next post!!!


Aug 6, 2011

Being Good is Being Mediocre

The other day, it struck me that people talk about only one kind of people. These are the ones that are clearly skewed towards one end of normalcy. Either totally bonkers or totally Einstien-tatious.

Think about it, who are you constantly talking about. The mad, psychotic boss of yours? Or is that awfully handsome chap on the next floor? Who do your gal pals talk about, hmmm? Yes, its true. Its the extremes that get all the honey!!!

Jul 23, 2011

Travelling to Ladakh - Leh

I have always fancied myself as a traveler, explorer of the unknown and in search of adventure.

(OK, Stop Laughing)

Jun 28, 2011

Age of Destruction

Its that age
The Age of Destruction

With The Bible of Enthusiasm
You're Baptised by fire
One Day you will reach the moon
Till then you won't tire

You're neither here
and you're neither there
The world's your playground
and your stuck in a snare

You beat your arms to reach higher
While you sink, Quicksand all over
One moment your good, great
The next your spent and late

You think you have time
But in reality you don't
You juggle too many things
Hoping to make it count

And then,You Can't wait
Can't rewind
So you start pushing
Your tagged, and left behind

You regret what you have done
And more what you haven't
"Make your own future"
Life catches up

One moment in love
The next, married to someone else
Under the burden of expectations
from others and yourself

Too young to ignore
Too old to be carefree
You learn to be responsible
And yet yearn to be free

The Road has been tough
For the less troden path
Its Frustating cos theres no light
At each lampost you pass by

And yet we will go
In search of redemption
Its the age
The Age of Destruction.


Jun 19, 2011


I Don't think you're right
I Don't want you to be
I Don't care if you are
Cos your nothing to me

Just get out
Outta my head
Go someplace else
Bleed, Bleed, Bleed, till your dead

I can't think straight
With you seducing me
I can open my eyes
But I still can't see

Now I know you, hate you
See you for what you are
I shall fight you, beat you
A scar for a scar

Don't come back
Don't come close
Enough is Enough
In my head you shall lose

I know you're not right
I don't want you to be
I Don't care if you are,
You''ll never get through to me.


Jun 12, 2011

The Stone

Early in the morning 
Dry, Dusty and forlorn
It was just moments ago
When she left for another stone

The time is approaching, soon
She'll come slowly by,
A lovely cooling stream at first,
and then go gushing by

She drowns me in her self
Giggling, Playful and full of life
Before she takes another turn
And is gone without a sight

That is the way she goes
Bending and touching every stone
Giving love and life to a creature
not capable of loving in return

She will not wait for me
There are many that wait ahead
"What do you have to offer" - she says
"You are but just a stone"

And so I wait, For her return
It his her nature. to move along
A stone I am, I do not doubt
But one that glistens the most,
When shes around.

It is now Twilight
Dry, Dusty and forlorn
It was just moments ago
When she left for another stone

(Written some time in 2010, found it in my drafts!!!)

May 30, 2011


Over the years DM has hinted at regular Male Behaviour through its subtle posts. We spoke about the difference in Men and Women Drivers, why a book is better than a girl friend (for which we the womens lib army held us up \m/) and of course the How To clean room / Kitchen Series. We also suggested the way men relax in The Art of Meditation. However the fairer society doesn't seem to be getting the hint. (Though they can come up with a wide range of accusations, etc) So we came up with some stuff that could be helpful.

1. When guys are pissed, they want to be left alone. Do NOT ask the following Questions
     - How's my Hair
     - You don't love me anymore
     - (After 5 min) Are you ok now?
     - (After 10 min) Am Bored. Wanna go to a movie?

2. Men love Gadgets. And vice versa. Do Not mess with them.The Gadgets I mean.

3. Men evolved from apes. Apes are messy. So are men. Don't nag them to clean up. Won't help. EVER.

4. NEVER give directions to a guy driving/riding. Catch an auto if you know the way.

5. Magenta, Ruby Red, Scarlet, Sky Blue, Cyan, etc are beyond understanding. Stick to Rainbow definition of  colours.

6. Men instinctively are problem solvers. They look at everything thats not right as a problem. So if you say " I had a horrible day at work" you'll probably get a reply like " Why don't ya quit?"

7. Men are not very good listeners. Especially when your on one of those "she said to her friend, who is the sister of my uncles brother in law, and then they came to...blah blah blah" etc. You want them to listen, tell them before you start!!!

8. Defintiely not good at subtle hints. If your upset, please tell them why!!!

9. Cricket and Football are not to be messed with. Even if Ekta Kapoor is doing the acting in the 47,000th episode of a 5 year old serial on Whose finally going to marry Manav/Ritesh/Amit/etc

10. Men are numbskulls some times. They mess up and get things wrong. But that doesn't mean they don't know it. They're probabaly feeling bad about it and wanna make it up to you. Don't start a nagging riot!!!

Hope this helps!!! (If it doesn't., read again :P )


May 19, 2011

How to Clean the Kitchen

After the oh - so - popular post on How To Clean Your Room , we are back with the next edition on cleanliness ( B-O-R-I-N-G)  for all you lazy Bachelors - "How to Clean the Kitchen"

We do want to warn you though, that if you are planning to get married in the near future, don't try this with the new cutlery. Won't go well with the missus / or the in law's for that matter. And you certainly don't want to let them catch you reading this, so read this like you would read porn. (You Randy Scoundrel, You!!!)

So here goes...

May 18, 2011

You know, Life's a Bitch.

Dear Maddy boy,

The first line we wrote in our diary, much before blogs, vlogs, and others was this...

"I don't know why am writing this."

6 years later we still don't know why. Guess going by that single point we haven't progressed much.

But on the contrary I have. I thought more, bothered more, cared more, loved more and lived more. I did what was morally right and socially acceptable. I kept myself last and pushed on in the hope that I would get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I had it all figured out like Spock from Star Trek.

But I realize now that I was happier when I was a selfish, egoistic, moron who didn't give a shit. You made me change for what was supposed to be right. But was it right?

Your silly notions of right and wrong, good and bad, what ifs and maybes have led to exactly where you are now. And you and I both know that it sucks. BIG TIME.

Apr 13, 2011

Of Beaches, Babes and Beer - GOA!!!

Finally!!! After years of thirst and longing, on 8th April, via Kingfisher Red's wobbly ATR Flight Number 26 -sumthin-sumthin, we landed in the bloody hot paradise of Goa.

The Best part about Goa is, that the moment you land, you feel like drinking beer. Which is good of course, considering that you can buy beer/liquor at cheap prices in any place that has 2 shelves and a roof. That's what this place is all about, and that's what all the teenagers keep hoping to do in Goa.

The moment you land in the Airport, apart from the Cops and the Taxis wala's, everyone is dressed

Apr 7, 2011

Am better than you

In between the busy schedule of life (wait, is that an ad line?Shit!) I notice that we suffer from "One Upmanship". For some reason, we don't seem to be able to digest another person getting the better of us.

Lose a race? Well I was tired.

Your Best bud got better grades? They copied.

The new guy got promoted? The guys a ass kisser.... etc etc

I see day in and day out, that people who are on the receiving end of life (the good side of course) cannot stand the lesser fortunate ones getting even a shred of good fortune. They have to strip them and downplay their effort, if not in public forums, then at least in private spaces that are convenient enough for other to overhear. Thereby keeping their "I am perfect" image intact.

Its sad side of human nature, that in all our glory, we not only are unhappy with what we have, but are also interested in stealing from others and when we fail, to show others in bad light.

This incessant need to justify our failures and weaknesses by showing it as a product/fault of someone elses actions is the difference between good and bad , right and wrong, and happy and sad people.

At the end of the day, its all about "Am better than you".

I don't know if this is apt here, but I wanna quote :

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge amid controversy."- Martin Luther King Jr.


Apr 4, 2011

The Tale of the Happy Day Driver

In my 4 years in Bangalore, I haven't once heard anyone praise the infamous autos that
terrorize the bumpy, metro stricken, Volvo clashing roads of the city. Being a patronizer of the few decent auto walas now and then, even I wouldn't expect good treatment from them.

It's a simple as being robbed. They over charge, won't drop you were you want to be dropped and keep cribbing all the way. If you don't know Kannada, then God save you.

I have also written about finding the right auto which will suggest that I have had my share of bad experiences.

However, on one fine day, walking the streets I found an alien driver. He not only got off his seat to usher me in, he smiled and wished me "happy day sir". Now my warning bells went off, naturally, that this chap is going to fleece me with the little English that he knew. It was also April 1st, so I kept looking over my shoulder for any suspicious looking vehicles following us around with the camera crew of MTV bakra.

Surprisingly, not only did he take me by the shortest route, his meter was perfect and he returned me every rupee of change. No awkward shuffling in his pocket and all the standard " no change sir" strategy. He also wished me "happy day" when I was getting off.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I corrected him saying that it was good morning and not happy day. He then proceeded to tell me that he was attending a leadership program (albeit a small one conducted by social welfare groups) where they taught English. His reason for saying happy day was that happy day was better than just good morning. If out of 10 passengers, 2 spoke to him about this "happy day" it made him happy and reduced his stress of having to drive from 9 to 9.

Think about that!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mar 29, 2011

26 and Mourning

When I got out of the doctors clinic today, I realized that at 26, am set for an Early retirement from life.

He made it sound very simple, a smiling "don't worry this is nothing" nod as he explained RSI to me ( and it's common these days) but I just couldn't pay attention.

It wasn't just physical ailments now and then that were bugging me, but a sense that things were getting worse. Over the last 6 months, I developed a back problem, a knee injury that returned and now repetitive stress injury. Coupled with some emotional hiccups and heartache, I am in the worst shape of my life!!!

All this while I thought I could take it. I diverted my attention to work to block out everything else, but I missed all the signals my body was giving me. Tried to hold in and hide, and ended up more irritated and frustrated.

A couple of hours of star gazing, and I see that life is no longer the same as the energetic, basketball playing dreamer that existed 3 years ago. Instead a fat, broken, workaholic face stares at me in the mirror. I have done what I always thought I would, but at what cost? Why have I let go?

Things are going to change, and the bottom line is nothing can be done about it. Fate has a way of telling you that somethings are not for you, no matter how you try to convince yourself that you deserve it. And each time, it hurts.

Probably the last couple of months have been the nails in the coffin.

The 26 year old me mourns the me of yesteryears. Where do I go from here?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mar 2, 2011

An Iphone, a Zoozoo and The Pug

(The Subject line of the blog is the subject of the mail I sent to Vodafone to get my point across)

Before I start, I need to let you know the background, so I don't sound like a 100% Grade 1 Bastard. Though I didnt get the choice of which subscriber I picked up with the I phone, My troubles began on Day 1, 2009

1. No one at Vodafone had a clue as to how the Internet was to be activated on the I phone. It took them a month to figure the right SMS. (understandable, being new device to India and all that)
2. My balances kept vanishing under the pretext of "user" charges.
3. A year of silence later, I finally am able to get the net services on the phone, after hours of talking to customer care.
4. The Terror of "Submit Documents" begins. (At this point, please note I have legitamately been using this number for 5 years) Every call, you get the "submit the documents" voice, Every day an SMS.
5. I walk into Vodafone, store give them the documents, and walk out.
6. Vodafone refuses to back down, attacks with more "submit Document" calls and SMS.
7. I walk into Vodafone, store give them the documents, and walk out.
8. Vodafone refuses to back down, attacks with more "submit Document" calls and SMS.
9. I fight through 100s of people, for hours and submit documents.
10. Vodafone is still doing the same ...submit documents. They further proceed to cut my caller id, incoming and outgoing on the day that MNP is introduced in Bangalore. Thereby forcing me to stick to them and their non service. They also refuse to respond to my mails to unlock the phone.

Finally, I get some mail ids on FB (Big Big People), and cross check on Linkedin, and proceed to send the following mail.

Today, I really felt that I should write this mail to let you know a few things.
I have enjoyed your services over the last 5 years, first as Hutch and then as Vodafone, and recently as a satisfied I Phone customer.You had amazing offerings, and your services drew me to sticking on.The Cute Pug ad also played a big role in keeping me hooked to your brand.
However, recent treatment from Vodafone has made me feel that I have displeased your Pug and fallen in the eyes of the ZooZoos.
Apparently,fighting my way through hundreds of "happy" subscribers to submit address/photo documents in your store (that opens conveniently after 11am) is not enough. Even If I do it 3 times.
I don't have much choice when your "help" centre is busy attending other calls, or a pretty voice asks me to keep pressing numbers (while am bombarded with your recent caller tune campaigns) to reach the elusive human on the other end.
As a Marketing Professional, your "happy to help" campaign inspires me to write this mail, hoping to have either my calls and SMS restored, or my phone unlocked so as to switch the service provider.
In the entire scheme of things, am sure one subscriber does not have a big say, But I hope to have your help in either way.

Needless to say, the next day everything was back in place, and the day after that a nice gentleman came down to pick my documents and to submit them.
At the end, after everything, they did solve the problem, so I guess at least someone in Vodafone is happy to help!!!

Feb 22, 2011

Villages and Cities, Rivers and Trees

I just got back from Home, a wonderful place that is untouched by the evils of society. By Evils I mean, Cellular Networks, E Mails and Facebook. And "Modernity" as we, the lesser souls of the city, know it.

Life in the Village is so different. It's as if the the Village itself is breathing. The rooster actually crows at sunrise, and you awake to trickles of sunlight shooting in through tiled roofs, to the smell of early morning dew and dust (not the city version) in the air, smell of fresh coffee brewing and the morning bath getting ready under burning wood.

Children walk/run to school, chattering about their pony tails and picking interesting stones. In the rare occasion that they do catch a bus, there's a broad smile when they climb it, because its a joy ride for them. A Cadbury Eclairs is a treasure to be savored on a right occasion and the sound of the school bell ringing in the end of class is the sign of freedom. Freedom to run through fields, over bridges, skipping over rivulets and staring at birds, all the way home.

Everyone smiles at everyone, and asks their welfare. Everyone helps everyone and there's never a task a couple of hands can't help you achieve. Old Men and Women tell tales of old, and the grand children run around in the courtyard playing tag. No Complicated Wii and No roller coaster rides that need safety belts to have fun in.

Rivers gurgle their way through the village, gently teasing the rocks and skipping under wooden bridges. Trees are massive skyscrappers, and its amazing what green does to your eyes. Large expanse of green and green, tall trees of areca nut rubbing shoulders with coconut palms , towering over mazes of banana plantations.

And as twilight sets in, flocks of birds settle in for the night in their cosy nests, singing goodnight to world around them. Oil Lamps come out on the "Tulsi" and Gates, and the temple bells ring loudly for the last prayer of the day, before the village goes off to sleep, under the beautiful watch of the twinkling stars.

Cities are just cement and rock. And its making the people in them, just as lifeless as themselves.

Home in the village is the only place I can sit and do Nothing, and still feel content in just being.


Feb 17, 2011

What are you to do with dreams?

Dreams kill me. They really do. I mean its like living the whole thing and your thinking and running around and just doing things. Going through all those emotions and then you wake up. And your caught between being blown away and feeling stupid.

And how come you don't get dreams that make you laugh, like comedy dreams? Its either scary, or a thriller or a sad one or a completely crazy one. I had dreams where people from absolutely different places and time lines are pulled in to one.

Recently, I had a series (Check for dreams under the Dreamlog tab) of dreams all revolving around one single person and its like watching a TV Serial, just that its so real. The Series is still on.

If you do a quick Google search on meaning of dreams, you'll get tons of literature on dreams, a few porn sites and lots of horoscope stuff. But more or less they all point to one thing (Except the porn of course)- Your most inner thoughts and subconscious mind come together to show you what's really on your mind.

Fair Enough. So what then? React or realize or what?

At the end of it all, what do you do with them?!!!


Feb 16, 2011

100 Must Read Books

I suddenly awoke to my long time wish of reading. So some surfing later I arrived at three different sets of must read books. Namely

1. The BBC List 100
2. From the Affiliate Marketing Blog
3. D J McAdam's list

Some of the books are common, while the BBC List has more uncommon options. I don't suggest or recommend any of them particularly, but I liked the ones on the Affiliate Marketing Blog. So am re producing the same below

  1. Plato, The Republic
  2. Homer, The Odyssey
  3. William Shakespeare - One really must read all of Shakespeare
  4. Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
  5. Nathaniel Hawthorne, The House of the Seven Gables
  6. Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
  7. Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
  8. Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
  9. Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White. 
  10. Owen Wister, The Virginian  
  11. Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
  12. Franz Kafka, The Trial
  13. Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
  14. James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
  15. Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
  16. Herman Melville, Moby Dick
  17. Egar Allan Poe, Complete Short Stories
  18. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Collected Essays
  19. Henry David Thoreau, Walden. In my mind, Thoreau and Emerson should be read regularly by all Americans, but that's just one man's opinion.
  20. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
  21. Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
  22. Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles
  23. Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales
  24. Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
  25. Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
  26. Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
  27. Hermann Hesse, The Glass Bead Game
  28. Bram Stoker, Dracula
  29. Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels
  30. Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography
  31. Jack London, The Call of the Wild
  32. Henry James, The American
  33. Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome
  34. Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
  35. Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
  36. George Orwell, Animal Farm
  37. Dashiell Hammett, The Maltese Falcon
  38. Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep
  39. P. G. Wodehouse, Carry On, Jeeves
  40. Jules Verne, A Journey to the Center of the Earth
  41. Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe
  42. Robert Louis Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
  43. Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot
  44. Sherwood Anderson, Winesburg, Ohio
  45. Henry James, Daisy Miller
  46. E. W. Hornung, Raffles, The Amateur Cracksman
  47. Henry James, Washington Square
  48. James Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson
  49. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged. This is the book you must read, but you might want to read The Fountainhead first.
  50. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
  51. John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
  52. Hermann Hesse, Demian
  53. Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
  54. Albert Camus, The Stranger
  55. Jack Kerouac, On the Road
  56. Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace
  57. Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
  58. George Orwell, 1984
  59. Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
  60. Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
  61. Sun Tzu, The Art of War
  62. Thomas Paine, Common Sense and Other Essays
  63. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
  64. Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front
  65. St. Augustine, Confessions
  66. Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote
  67. W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge
  68. H. G. Wells, The Time Machine
  69. Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac
  70. Sun Tzu, The Art of War
  71. Anne Rice, The Witching Hour  
  72. Lee Child, Die Trying
Some more from the other lists...

  73.    Harper Lee, To Kill a Mocking Bird
  74.    Joseph Heller, Catch 22
  75.    Audrey Niffenegger,The Time Traveller’s Wife 
  76.    Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
  77.    CS Lewis, Chronicles of Narnia
  78.    Jane Austen, Emma
  79.    Jane Austenm Persuasion
  80.    Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary
  81.    Salman Rushdie, Midnight’s Children
  82.    Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger

I hope to read these books in a manner that makes sense to me, and that I learn something from them. Not a wild chase to complete a list, actually.

Meanwhile, you might want to check out www.goodreads.com Nice stuff for book lovers. Arrange, review, find friends and all that.




Feb 14, 2011

Straight from the heart

Though I may have managed to drag around to the other side of 25 on this Feb 14th, am very happy. For many reasons.

Am happy for the 150 odd wishes on FB, a dozen odd sms, 30 odd calls, 40 + personal wishes, some great surprises, lottsa cake,  a kid who couldn't get enough of jumping on my shoulders, 2 dear friends whom I dint meet in a loooooong time, 2 best buds who called me as usual in the middle of night to regale stories of times gone by, some old food, a dear friend ("giggle") who went a long way to make it a great day and gifts :)

Its moments that these that make me grateful for wonderful people around me. Though a lot of my buddies are going to get married soon, and probably life won't be the same as before, am hopeful that there will always be people around the corner that I can hug and feel at home.

Though there are many reasons to be unhappy, I think its time to put it all behind and enjoy each day as it comes. Or At least try to.

Life is wonderful sometimes.


Feb 8, 2011

Dreamlog - On French Island

Walking around the beach in the morning sun was as normal as it could get. But not for Ajay. He was on an island in France which was hardly the size of his college block, with his friend, on the invitation of the girl he loved and even more painfully her fiance. Which was what made it un-normal so to speak.

What made it strange was that he couldn't understand how there were grape vines growing out of the sea, what the hell his friend who had nothing to do with this part of his life,was doing there with him, and why there was an Indian style STD telephone booth in the middle of a beach in France.Through out this journey, he never once saw the face of the girl nor her fiance, but heard them throughout, talking to each other about things only two people in love could. He could only imagine of course.

He also got into an interaction with some Thailand natives, arguing about the size of the L shaped swimming pool in their home, which was tiled with colorful mosaic which looked more like a Lego collection.

At the end of it all, he woke up with a feeling of sadness and confusion.

P S  - Point to prove that "Ajay" has some wacky sixth sense(for the umpteenth time), "Ajay's Friend" sent "Ajay" a face book message asking him how he knew this "girl" in question on the same day in the afternoon.There are no coincidences in life.

Living a lie is a difficult task. Doing it everyday is emotional suicide.


Jan 26, 2011

Snakes and Ladders

Life is a game of snakes and ladders. Strategy doesn't work. Planning doesn't work. We're fools if we think that something we do is actually making things happen. Its not Chess, Its snakes and ladders. You throw the dice anyway you want but you can never predict all the numbers right.

Hope is what drives the throw of the dice, the dice is what drives the game. Sometimes up the ladders and others down by the snake.The snakes and ladders are already there, you'll keep falling and you'll keep climbing, but you'll keep throwing that dice till its over.

I'm beginning to loose patience with these board games.


( PS : Been to 99 and back. Again.)

Jan 16, 2011

Love. Farewell.Waterfall.

"I dont' know what to do with this heart...
I don't know what to do with this heart, babe." - thought in my head as I woke from 3 back to back dreams today.

(All three dreams narrated below. Probably won't make sense to reader, but it was overwhelming to me.)


It was her final goodbye, and Rajesh was tense. In his heart he had already said goodbye, but a final sight is all he wanted. They were gathered up in a room, and she was in getting ready to leave. For some odd reason he was seriously under dressed for the occasion with a vest and shorts, apart from playing football with a blue plastic ball on the terrace parking lot of a five star hotel.

As the moment came, she came out with her luggage and her friends from the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, awaiting his turn. As she came up to him, there was a smile on her face. Rajesh got up to give her a hug, but she pushed him away. She nodded her head in disapproval and laughed. And she left.

He ran to the terrace and kicked the ball from the top to the ground floor, and then ran all the way down. He took the parking ramp, jumping mid way on every ramp. As he searched for the ball at the bottom, he got into the lobby of the hotel, and promptly the hostess stopped him. She stared at him, and asked him to leave. He walked out knowing fully well that she dint know who he was, and it dint matter anyway.


Every one Max worked with, was at the party, strange that it was in his cousins new house. Amazing house that it was, right by the river and with an awesome full fledged bar at the bottom. Strange, he never knew his cousin drank anyway.

As everyone one was having a great time, he tried desperately to get her attention and it dint make sense as to what he was doing wrong. He'd never been this frank with anyone, let alone with a girl. The moment he had laid eyes on her he knew this was going to be awesome. It was as if he got this jigsaw piece that completed his puzzle. He tried everything to catch her attention, to show her that it would be good between them.

It seemed as if she didn't notice anything at all, as if Max was another face in the crowd, although a little fun.

The huge Niagara-ish falls was now clear behind the huge broken down fort. Folklore had it that if you felt true love, you could see a Stone Carved colourful Ganesh behind the waterfall. He stood there, at the edge staring at the falls, hoping to find something that made sense to him. His small guide had left him there for some time now.

All around some people stood, widely waving their arms at people, pointing excitedly to one another. Some just stared, some were happy and some left while others came. The roar of the water was deafening. All of a sudden he found a man with a camera calling out to him. He went to him and looked at the point he was pointing at.

There was mist all around. And in seconds his benefactor was gone.

And then he saw it. A beautiful Ganesh, right in the face of the falls. It was beautiful and was Huge. As the water crashed around, he could make out the eyes looking right at him.

As it started raining, he ran. He crossed the fields, he crossed the mud paths and the fort. It kept puring harder and he kept running.


Jan 14, 2011

Marketing Terminology Fundas

After the amazingly superb and ever popular posts on Sales Fundas and Business Jargons we are back with the World Famous in Bengalooru edition of the Marketing Terminology Fundas.

(Before you go ahead, be warned. Any connection with real life working scenarios in any organisation in any country on any planet is purely coincidental (HA!!!) and not a result of the author sharing his expertise with upper management of said organisation.)

So here we go...

4P's of marketing
They no longer the P's of marketing. They're probably the F's of the other departments that end with Marketing and marketing tries to mystify it.

Any logo/name/symbol Marketeers think Consumers will like and "relate" to. Like when you really really need to go, the toilet sign makes absolute sense to you, no matter what it looks like or reads.

Brand Manager
Under paid, over worked people in suits that make "Brand" a big thing and ensure no one knows what it means or is supposed to do. Including themselves.

The thought that comes to a "Brand Manager" before anyone else on that particular day.
For e.g Gobldegokkamopholy has 18 letters. This is an insight because I thought of it first.

Consumer Oriented Approach
There's No Such Thing

Market Research
The systematic gathering, recording, analyzing, and use of data to prove what you think is right, or what others think is wrong.

Brand Strategy
A Piece of paper which has the "Brand" repeated every 3rd word in CAPS.

Market Share
Dividing the market in enough ways to prove that in any one particular part your "brand" is the only brand that is being bought therefore 100% Market Share. For E.g In a market of one room, with one chair, with one person who has one foot, your "one leg shoe brand" has 100% share.

Target Consumers
A group of individuals whom collectively, are mentioned as the people who will buy your "Brand" on a power point presentation made by a "Brand Manager". This is of course proved by "Market Research"

Hope you had a learning experience!!! Coming soon are the HR and Finance Departments!!!


Jan 13, 2011

How to choose an Auto Rickshaw

Have been experiencing the autos of Bangalore for a few days now, and I have realised that the choosing the right rickshaw plays a big part in the total amount you pay. I have taken the same route over three days, at the same time, with different autos, and ended up paying three different amounts. The third being outright robbery.
After giving this a long and serious thought of 10minutes, I have derived a brilliant way to handle these ruffians and to extract value. So, with no further delay, I present..... (Drum roll)

Choosing Autos for Dummies - MadDys handy guide list

1. The First step is to leave 15minutes early. No matter what the situation, a guy in a hurry will end up paying more. Without doubt, if you're in a hurry, the whole world will try to make money outta you.

2. Choosing an auto is about knowing where to find one. If you go to an auto stand, you will definitely have to pay the "union" rates.  Look out for the lone auto parked around the auto stand. Chances are he's not from there and he wants to get out of that area. This is the auto you need to approach

3. When not at a regular auto stand, look at the drivers hanging out. Never approach any one in the crowd if they are joking or talking to each other. They don't need the money. Look for a bored to death driver hanging out of his auto. He's the auto you need to talk to.

4. Never go for a totally new auto or a totally old one. A new one is out to clear his installments, and on an old one you're definitely paying more with the faulty lines and tampered meters. Go for the semi new, non plastered with weird stickers types.

5. Always ask for your location in the local language, and never agree to the first rate that comes out. I once had a guy ask me for Rs 100 for a one km ride, just because I asked him in Hindi.

6. Always keep alert, an auto guy who's keen to take you without talking money is a risky proposition. Either his meter is rigged or he's gonna take you for a ride.

7. Never being forced into an auto just because three or four drivers are bombarding you with words. Hold your ground and tell them to Fuck off. (Not loudly though)

8. And last but not the least, you need to have a basic idea of where your going. If you don't then even a great auto guy can't help you!!!


Jan 9, 2011

Sacrifice and Animosity.

How far would you go to get your loved one?

Someone whom you love dearly, can't be without types? Some people don't even realize how much they have sacrificed, but by the time they do, its too late. We are so blinded at times, that we do not want to accept the fact that we are pushing our likes and happiness back, hoping our loved ones would reciprocate at some point of time. Over a period of time, only one is actually trying to make things work and they end up on the receiving end.Obviously the other partner is oblivious to this as they have taken it for granted. the And that's how the classic question arises -- "You have changed". The fact is that no one changes, one just doesn't see the change that one takes to themselves, to make the other one happy.

In a relationship, sacrifice is nothing if its not reciprocated to make things work.

Have you ever met someone whom you instantly dislike? I mean its this open animosity that's so obvious behind all the standard communication gestures, like "Hi" or a handshake. It's like each is looking over the shoulder and for no reason there is this hostile atmosphere.

You just have that alarm button go off, the moment you hear their name or notice them around and no matter what you try or do, there is no way to make it go away. Some things are just that way.


Jan 7, 2011

Inner Sync

Have you had the feeling that you just know somethings gonna happen ? That moment when you expect someone to say something, and they just say it? That you were just thinking of a person and a message from them pops up on the screen? Or you can imagine someone in a particular slice of life picture, and then somewhere you actually see it? That you preempt what someone is gonna say, and then you're like how did I know that? Its like you just know it.

I have known this to happen, has happened before and its happening again. I tend to ignore it as an internal weather broadcast system.

But some times I wonder, is it something I should take seriously. Maybe its the universe trying to tell me something. Telling me to get in touch with myself. With whats really behind all the blabber, chatter, tantrums, mood swings and all that. With the me inside.

Inner Sync.


(by the way, there were 0 spelling mistakes in this spell check, so yay!!!)

Jan 3, 2011

Bahrain - Memories

A long long time ago, I used to hang around on an island called Bahrain. My point in making it look so small is because it is so small, the main island being just 55km long by 18km wide, and the rest being all teeny weeny islands. Mangalore is bigger than the country, but then that's not the point.

File:Coat of arms of Bahrain.svg

Apart from being born here, and terrorizing the cheese samosas at school, I had a deep bond with the place. Probably because leaving was not a choice that I had, it was kind of fooled into it. Some fondest memories of my life still stay in Bahrain, though am not sure I'd recognize the place if and when I go back. Place has changed, the life has changed and more importantly the people have changed.

I guess when it comes to Bahrain, am still the 12 year old. Because in my mind, the place hasn't grown up.

Schooling was fun, while I remember some names from my first school, "The Asian School" which for some strange reason was full of "Indians", and the "Indian School" which had a lot of Arabs, I must thank FB for getting in touch with most of them.

Some things I'd never forget :

1. Water Garden - Feeding Swans popcorn which they hardly ate
2. Tubli - the place had a nice ring to it!!!
3. Riffa - and the favorite shop we'd go there always before it burned down and got rebuilt. I still remember the layout of the store. Additionally this was where our first home was.
4. Marhabba Market - The first supermarket I went to!!!
5. Video Games!!! - Street fighter cards and Mortal Combat
6. Family Get togethers in Zallaq beach
7. DEcember 16th, National Day and the Fireworks.
8. Isa Town - Home Sweet Home.
9. The cab driver with a cut tongue who'd pick us and drop us home from The Indian School
10. Struggling to throw the basket ball at the hoop, only to end up playing for the district of Udupi (\m/)
11. Signing my exam papers myself, even though I got a 10/10. And then getting whooped for it :P
12. This hilarious character called Jay Gandhi. Haven't Found him yet
13. "A Fox was trotting on one day, and just above its head...." English poem in the 6th Grade
14. Collecting Vimto stickers to get that confounded robot pencil box!!!
15. "Lagori" with a tennis ball
16. Soccer with crushed Beer/Cola Cans


17. Kannada Sangha Bahrain!!!
- the teeny library which was like a punishment room
- the Kannada classes which ensured I could beg for marks in Kannada in School in India
- Soccer on the terrace!!!
- Carrying random kids around and spending on "Chakuli" ( most of these kids are grown up so names shall be shared, but I bet you know who we are talking about)
- Darts tournaments!!!
- Get togethers and "Karnatakothsava"
- And soooo many more

I guess I must be one of the few that never returned to Bahrain for a longer duration, with a return only for a quick vacation. And that was that.

I still miss Bahrain. And the national anthem still rings in my head......


Jan 2, 2011

Mad Bucket List

The Title is Mad Bucket list for the simple reason that I didn't want to name it "The" bucket list cos its not ready yet. However while am working on it, my ego likes to think that I do Mad crazy things which are cool, but in reality isn't true so bear with me.

As 2011 kicked in day before, we were discussing our bucket list at 5 am in the morning. Trying to make head or tail of things we wanted to do, we decided to have "levels" of bucket listing, in order to start with mug lists, shower lists and then finally move on to the bucket.

I thought it would be interesting to share some of our thoughts, so here they are

 - One thing D and I agreed on was to watch a movie without paying for it. But once we got into the details, we realized that the Multiplex owners probably have brains and hence devise simple "Safety" procedures (like moving out the front door) when in reality its to ensure you get OUT once the movies over.

- Dance on a table in a popular restaurant. Then we realized with our weights we'd probably break the table, hence we changed it to break a table in a popular restaurant by dancing on it.

- Learn a Musical instrument and play on a stage.

- Give free hugs on MG Road. ( I still think we should charge, but D had a valid point that its not safe for straight guys anymore)

- Drive a car that costs more than 50 lakhs. ( I thought we should take an Audi test drive, and then D came up with the idea that we buy nice suits to get the test drive, and then we decided to beg some rich industrialists driver to get a ride)

- Get a girlfriend (one for each of course)  \m/

- Attend as many rock shows in this year as possible, and keep the spirit of rock alive in our hearts \m/

- Go Fishing and keep fishing till you catch a fish.

And that's as far as we could go, before we realized that anything with high cash investments and international visits were probably not getting into this list, and then the purpose of this list was getting lost, and hence we just decided to take these into "discussion" and think about it!!!

Nonetheless, am looking forward to this "discussion" pretty soon!!!

M \m/

Intercity VOLVO chase. 2 Lives

When you have a car, 4 sleeping passengers and one freaking crazy nut who's bored to death as a driver, what you don't want to do is end up waking to a funeral. My Friend D, thinks otherwise.

We were Supposedly, on our way the Maddur coffee day cafe, and around 40km down Mysore road, we awoke after one of the CCD passed by and D was staring at the two tail lamps of a Volvo bus in front. Luckily, the driver was a softie and let us pass, and 2 minutes later we managed to wrestle the steering wheel out of D's hands. Needless to say we drove back home later in the morning (Did I mention this happened at 3am on the 1st of Jan,2011?) safely and sleepy!!!

My sincerest thanks to the kind KSRTC Bus driver who realized that a mad driver in a 1086 cc Santro trying to overtake a 6 cylinder, 7 litre VOVLO 9400 inter city bus.( Ok, I googled the cc of the bus and dint get it, so jus think BIG)


At 3:00 AM on January 2nd, atop the terrace of a Government Bank Employees Residential Quarters, me and a friend came up with the theory of 2 lives.

A lady has 2 lives. Pre Marriage and Post Marriage. Once a Lady gets married, she's steps into her second life, where like an Egyptian mummy, a select few articles get carried over to the next life. (*conditions apply) The things that get carried over are usually - parents, siblings, relatives, barbie doll, pets and necessities (GOLD, jewellery,shoes,handbag and expensive clothing) and occasionally vehicles too. Friends get carried over for a short time, but rarely does it go very long. Kill me if I am wrong.

A Guy has one life with a years break in between, during which period he gets married, wanders off, and then is back to the same life.

The sooner you realize these theories, the better!!!

M \m/

*this does not apply to the exceptional ones, a few of those that I know too. It also does not apply to those who have got offended!!!

Jan 1, 2011

A good start to 2011

I have had miserable new years. Fights, sitting at home, and sleeping early. Bottom line, did everything apart from partying.

This year, it looked absolutely the same before a good friend came in to pester me into what turned out to be a great new year's ever, my first one out, and a first for many things. To her, I say THANK YOU. It means a lot to me. ( Am not sure I mentioned it, but I think there was too much Tequila around for any of us to be taken seriously!!!)

This year has been better than the last 2, made new friends, old friends getting hitched, got a new job which doesn't have me stressed at home, made better friends, and got in and out (well kind of) of a huge romantic endeavour.

Of course there have been downs, 2 heartaches, back to back. A sense of sailing a lone ship as people around move into the next chapter of their lives. A bad back, Job changes, worries back home, and all that. What hurt most I guess was the romantic thing. This was a sure shot but I guess cupid got the wrong heart this time around.

Anyways, am very Happy. Because, I've realized, that life is not about friends,colleagues,neighbours etc. ITS ABOUT PEOPLE. ALL PEOPLE. And I love and am grateful to all the people in my life, who work with me, who drop me home, who drink with me, who consider me a good friend, who hate me, etc.

Even those that don't see me in the same light that I see them.

You make me who I am, and make life worth living.