Just Emkaying: Family, Marriages and more

Dec 23, 2011

Family, Marriages and more

After a long time I met a lot many of my extended family. My Cousins, their families, my uncles,aunts and of course the "chachi ki uncle ki mami ki behen ke bade papa ke side wale ghar ke neighbour ki dusri bhen" types.While initially some where skeptical about me being me (thanks to the 40 extra kilos, and about 3 ft of height), they were assured when mom addressed me as her son. Which reassured me that mom still recognized me. Not that she had a choice.

So it was fun, catching up on developments, the usual underlying gossip, blah blah blah . Lots of young kids around. Young Cousins who were in college the other day, completely into the married/motherhood role. I met one of my cousins after 7 long years - One my favorite sisters who was around when I had first come to India.

Most importantly, I felt safe. My mind was off some things I was obsessing about. There's this thing about family, no matter what you do, you can always ask for forgiveness. You can always go back. They will always be there for you. Perhaps not in the same way that a friend would, but they'll be there. They will create a scene, or be bitchy, but there will always be someone. Its also reminded me to keep in touch and reach out to some of my cousins. They're kinda cool you know :)

I sometimes wish I had siblings. My trust and dependency on my close friends is going to get the better of me someday. Again.

* * *

Inevitably, I knew marriage would be a common ground for everyone to attack me. While I steered clear from most conversations which included me, there some pesky people who just don't get the hint. From direct, whose your girlfriend to will you share your horoscope to I have a daughter,you interested? type questions, I seen it all!!! Phew!!!

So far, I have been able to negotiate terms for 2 more years. For the record, I have nothing against marriages. Its great that two people should want to commit to each other. Am not commitment phobic either. What I am scared of is getting married to someone I don't know. In this day, when you friends can turn in a few minutes, perhaps a white lie, a story hidden, is all it takes. I haven't been lucky in the department of pyaar vyaar ishq vishq, and its getting irritating.

As my friend puts it, your meeting the wrong ones (a lot of em!) so that you are absolutely sure when you meet the right one.

* * *

Society is cruel. To widows, to step children, step parents but most often to people caught in a bad relationship, an abusive relationship. I did not know that widows were excluded from family rituals. Its bad enough they have to live their lives alone, let alone be marked out for no fault of their own. And people caught in an abusive relationship suffer so much. Not just the women, but even the men. For the women, the family won't take them back, and for the men the kids matter too much. I have seen both.

How can people be so cruel? Isn't life too short already?


Some of my previous posts on the topic
Love, Farewell, Waterfall
Marriage, Love and Spirituality
Sacrifice and Animosity

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