Just Emkaying: My Mid year appraisal.

Aug 13, 2017

My Mid year appraisal.

Dear M,


It's me and Columbus, in Spain
Welcome to the latest in random thoughts and mumbling from my "bored, lazy, yet determined to keep this space alive" self. It's not the first time I've been gone for long, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Hah! used clickbait headlines, but will make it up to you if you read on. Promise.

Of course make no mistake - I have long forgone the thoughts of being a consistent writer, which requires some semblance of linear thought or being adept at bringing together seemingly disjointed ideas into a interesting narrative over a period of time - (I'll let George Martin get the fame on that one) I have also come to the sad conclusion that I do not enjoy documenting my experiences on travel beyond instagram stories or photos - given probably to my fascination with the next thing I interact with, as inanimate or irrelevant may it be to most adults. Attention Deficit I think they call it.

Ooooh look a butterfly! 

For those wondering, this post took me 6 hours, 2 4 episodes of Fringe, lunch, 2 breaks, one coffee, an hour of contemplation on who really wrote history (victors or losers) and redding 100 odd pages of the Amazon book, to finish. I allow myself these liberties on weekends.

Of course what writing does help me with personally is to document ideas, thoughts & learnings, so that it becomes a structure of some sort. I have always felt putting down these things in physicality helps in building memory structures in the head, just like how extreme experiences make themselves a part of your psyche. Of late, I have found writing quotes I've read and having them in front of me to be extremely useful. Often dealing with one's own demons and doubts in moments of charged enthusiasm comes down to just one thing - conviction. Even if it might be the most irrational and inexplicable, or often non existent logical reasoning (in other words "crazy"). And it's always worth it to learn how the greats did it - Jobs, Bezos & countless others. 

On a side note - What seems crazy to others - is it just a reaction to a different reality that they haven't comprehended yet ? (#Fringe). And does this conviction in that crazy, scare them? Often we take recourse by quoting "historical lessons", precedences and processes to not do something that sounds crazy or different. Remember,  while history may be written by the victors, I believe that humans are interested in learning from proven victors so as to guarantee progress, quicker. Hence this "past experience" is always biased. 

 Anyway, I digress. (not suprisingly)

The post title isn't entirely misleading. I found it amusing to conduct a self appraisal of my year so far, an activity we diligently do at work, and seldom when it impacts us more dearly, in our own lives. I've never done this exercise ever, but I found it quite a rewarding process. In one of my older posts (The fault in our thoughts), I mentioned how living and acting on what we want to achieve, helps make life more meaningful. I now discover that being able to review and re plan these goals gives it more life, and helps reaffirm commitment. 

If I remember correctly, what I set out to do was more travel, more different things, challenge myself where I had preconceived notions, act on things that make me happy and to see if it's something that I would enjoy on the long term. 

Most of these things have been done with exceptional results - Travel, included seeing the most beautiful places in India, my first complete solo hostel trip in Japan, a bike trip across the greens of South India, ands some other things. I knew music had a profound impact on me so I took up learning the Guitar, I can say that it was a mixed experience and I'm not sure what to do next on it. I loved riding my bike, so after 5 years of contemplating it, I bought my Desert Storm. I spent quality time with my friends with 3 trips in half a year for get-together's (must definitely be worth bonus points!) Not to mention catching up with family I haven't seen for years to decades! I also participated in my first ever camping trip, which was a disaster if I must say so myself. I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn't buy anything that would encourage me to stay at home, so sadly the PS4 purchase was put aside, as did buying any gadget or electronic device, including watches. It's shocking that I went to Japan and  did not indulge in Seiko's and Citizens, but I did not come back empty handed.

*Cough* GoPro Hero Black 5 *Cough*  

Speaking of Japan, I hope you followed my daily insta stories. I have been told by thousands***  that it was amazing. Nonetheless, If you missed it, let me know in the comments and I will see if I can post in on YouTube. I had lots of good memories, I made new friends from Canada, Spain, Germany and India. I met my dress twin took the off beaten track towards the end of the trip, here's a pic:

The Hostel I stayed at Kanzawa thought we looked like twins. The pic is on their instagram! (https://www.instagram.com/p/BTN5vGNlz_m/?taken-by=hatchi.thesharehotels)
If I thought 2016 was a good year, the first half of 2017 was a smashing hit. 

It makes me wonder - is this how the world actually lives? Sheesh! I have so much to make up for. 

But then that brings me to the rest of the year. 

What I'd like to do is introspect a lot more. Spend more time reading and perhaps being more in the moment. A relaxed second half. Definitely want to take steps towards learning a language and making another attempt at music. Travel is definitely on the cards and the health journey continues to optimum levels by end of 2017. There's a self declared bonus If I achieve my goals earlier than planned, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm thinking I might want to take up something physical as well - I've always loved basketball and table tennis, wanted to learn martial arts, but at this point maybe something as simple as hitting the gym twice a week might be good enough. 

I really do wish I could adopt a pet. Did I tell you about Trooper? I was so in love with this puppy that had an unfortunate accident and had one of his limbs removed. I really, really wanted to get him home but I had to make a choice. And the choice of getting him home meant that I would have to let go of a lot of other things which I wasn't ready for. Yet. 

I just realised this is the 10th year of Just Emkaying, which originally began as "Daily Mirror", born out of an idea to show myself the mirror, a reminder of how I used to see the world. I've got wiser, but nothing else has changed much, so I'd like to think.

I wonder what my blog would say if it were able to express its thoughts. 

So I'm rating myself a solid 9/10, and before you say it - I'm cutting one mark for grammar mistakes. 


*** 3 people, but you never know how many of these 3 people are in parallel universes. 

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