Just Emkaying: The Art of Meditation

Apr 16, 2009

The Art of Meditation


I know its been a tough time out there for everyone. The recession is hitting everyone and people are looking for different ways to release the emotional and mental stress and tension.

I have always believed that meditation depends on the individual. After failing miserably at conventional meditation, I have now devised upon a meditation technique which works for me: and I hope works for you.

STATUTORY WARNING: By reading ahead, you agree that you are under control of your senses and know what you are doing. Any action/Reaction/No action are your liability and we will not take any responsibility for the same. If you are looking for serious meditational techniques, google it...

Here we go:

Before we go ahead we need to have some pre requisites. Kindly make sure that you have the following at close range
1. Two bottles of chilled beer (and bottle opener)
2. Vodka (any make)
3. Glasses/Straws depending on the number of Participants

First of all, sit down on the floor in closed seat position. Make sure that you are comfortable and preferably wear loose clothing. I always try being as close as possible to open air source. A terrace would be perfect for you city dwellers.

Now, As you noticed we have taken a few pre requisites with us. Do not think that we are going to enjoy drinking alcohol. No no no. Alcohol is just a measure for improving concentration. (works for me) Make sure the prerequisites are kept on a knee height table, where you can reach them easily.

Now that you are ready, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breath out. Repeat 5 times.
Concentrate on your breathing. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Feeling better? Now at this point, its best to check if the beer is still chilled. You may ask why. Well the reason being that when you meditate, the energy of the universe is drawn towards you. If your doing it right, then obviously the beer would get warmer because of the energy around you.

Still cold? Well try again. Breath in. Breath out. Repeat 5 times. Check the beer. 
I never could make out if the beer was really chilled inside. Don't take chances. Open the bottle, and have a swig.

Gulp. Gulp. Ah...

Getting a bit warm. Great!!! Your doing it right. Now go ahead and repeat breathing excercise 6 times. 

Feeling better already heh?!! Check the beer. Have a longer drink this time. Feel the beer going down your throat. Feels good right. Thats meditation power.

Now for the second part. 

Breath in through your left nostril. Exhale through your right. Repeat 5 times.

Feeling the energy around you? Can you feel the awareness? Now check on the second bottle of beer. This time make sure you drink at least half of the bottle. This is important to ensure you dont confuse the effect of the first excercise with the second one.

Gulp, Gulp, Ah...

Feeling ligheter right.? The energy is now working with you. Continue the excercise with the opposite nostril. 6 times.

Check on the beel again. 


Make sure you pinish the bottle, because the next excercise is mole complicated and needs ploper attention

Now before you start the next excercise, pour a drink of vodka into the glass. This is in preparation of 3rd excelcise. 

Breath in deep and hold for 3 sec. Now breath out deep and hold for 3 sec. Continue thix times. Now with this excercise, you shud be able to channelize energy into the glass of podka, making it chilled enuf to dlink.

Check the vodka. in one go pleasch.

Gulp, gulp. ah Pill up the glass again.

Now that you are beginning to enjoy the meditation, repeat excercise 3. Breath in. hold. Bread out. Fold.

Theck the vodka. Dlink the vodak in one shot. 

Now that you are getting the bang of it all, do any excercise u want. Bleathe in thru left postril. Fold. Don't tly to get up. 

Oh you got up. Bleathe out through what u can now. Pick boltte o podka. Hick!! Pu to you lips. Check if it is cold yet. no?
Bleath in to to vodka.

Lets try again. Dlink in the vodka, bleath out. No no...not nostil. Pour in mouth..

....still not thold? You have to wulk halder. Piinish.... all bottles of veer and bodka..... teek the kable aside. ....nd get into beld. Don;t exhaust fan your self. take rest. hick!

Again tly tomorowlly...from pirst hick!cercise....Z Z Z Z



  1. Hey Maddy
    Thanx for dropping by my blog and saying nice things! :))

    And congrats your discovery of "Beer YOGA". U shud patent the process! lol

  2. I chanced upon your blog and found it very informative. The event blogs are striking enough to have a feel of the event, so, I would like to have a little chit-chat on your blogging interests. And even we are coming up with an event on startups on June 6th. So, can I have your contact details? Looking forward to hear from you.

  3. I'd like to get into meditation.

    Happy blogoversary!