Just Emkaying: January 2010

Jan 24, 2010

Husband for Sale...


With every thing today being on sale, it wouldn't be very far when husbands go on sale.I had this weird (or maybe not so weird...) thought the other day when a flu got me into bed early.

I could see a fine young woman walk into a store with a huge Billboard saying...

"Christmas offer...Book your husband early and get a 2 million credit card free" (ya like it was a 2GB memory card)

Seeing the sign the lady walks in and is approached by the sales girl(SG) at the counter...


SG : Hi, welcome to "Thank God its Husbands". How may I help you?

Lady : Hi, I wanted to have a look at the latest models on the husband market

SG : Sure. You will find the latest models with us. Is there anything specific you were looking for? Maybe a good looking model, or perhaps a more of a "will do the house work" models.

Lady : Well whats the latest in fashion these days?

SG : Well we find this special model thats been selling like crazy for the last few days

(pointing a dark tall muscular looking mannequin)

Lady : And whats special about it...

SG : Well we have HUGE consumer satisfaction with this model. But its not much of help around the house, neither does it come with a mute button. The language default is "Kalahari" so u got to use it in mute most of the time. Apart from that it doesnt come with a fashion sense other than the loin cloth. No Free credit card on this one, as its a basic model. Can Rap and disco if trained appropriately.

Lady : Oh. am looking for a more of a total use than a one that's just good in the...ummm..you know...

(Moving towards the next Mannequin)

SG : Ah. Perhaps we can interest you in this fair one. Its a Chinese make.

Lady : Is it sleeping?

SG : Oh No. The Facial features look like that. Its actually a good model and useful around the house. No Pests. You got to be careful with the food, as most of the pests end up there. Also you wont need house safety. This model comes with in built Kung fu skills and superior fitness regimes. Also you will get a 20% Discount on Jackie Chan Movies and on Noodle Bars.

Lady : Wow. Can I take it out to dinner? And what about with kids.

SG : You can take them out to dinner, but avoid non oriental restaurants. Fine around kids as long as you don't mind them gobbling up crawling insects. You also need to be careful with furniture. They tend to fly around a lot.Keeping them away from any living creature that's not human is a good idea. Will Definitely end up in cooking.Will insist on china made electronics and equipment. And oh yeah, You get a free pair of chop sticks and a samurai sword with this one.

Lady : Yikes!!! Am not in for that kind of action..How about this American looking one..

SG : This is quite a popular model with our Foreign clients

Extremely good while being sociable. Good fashion sense and speaks three languages apart from English. You get a FREE 2 million credit card on this one. Is extremely good sense of style and loves lavish lifestyle. Wont work during the Super Bowl though. Loves Beer. Will come in the best size dimensions that you would want. Also will carry a shotgun al la Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2. Is good at Law Suits. Will sue for anything almost.

Lady : Sounds too good to be true...Whats the catch?

SG : Well there's no warranty on this one. It tends to get bored with a single owners and is known to be disloyal and disappear at times.Too much on Facebook and can really bug you with clothes strewn around the house. Will insist on fixing everything by itself and mostly end up in a worse state. I Let you in on a secret..this ones not a keepers type.

Lady : Sigh...Do you have anything else?

SG : Well we have the last model. This ones from India.

Its a very loyal one. Will work around the house without compensation. Additionally will be obliged to buy you jewellery at all Indian festivals and yearly anniversary's. Will clean up after itself if scolded or a if you throw a few plates around. Will manage the house when your away, and clean utensils, do the laundry, take care of the kids, in laws and your parents too. Is fantastic at IT and will probably do all the math and take care of finances. Wont say much if you get bored and find an additional husband as well. You get a Free "Tandoori Chicken cook book" and Punjabi Rap CD.

All you need is to throw in a meal and a few peekaboo's now and then.

Lady : Sounds great!!! I 'll take it.

SG : Fantastic. Heres your starters kit. Make sure you have the language remote tuned to English. To get the model started, just play a music track from any Bollywood movie.

Lady : Thank you!!!

SG : Would you want to buy any more miss? We can give you a 50 % discount on your next purchase of a Husband!!!

Lady : I will consider it sometime. Thats all for now!!!

With that the lady turns out the door and leaves, walking out on to the pedestrian walkway, and I can focus on the "Husband" walking along side...Seems like a familiar face...same smile..same shirt...glasses...

YIKES!!! It looks like.....


Cheers!!! MaDdY

Jan 22, 2010

New look...new blog

I have another blog as well which goes by the name business Bubbles. But the purpose with which I opened it doesnt last any more. So I have a new site which will come in place of BB. But am not sure what am going to write. But I am sure what am NOT going to write.

I want it to be fun. Again I want it to be realted to business as well. Ads maybe. And again shouldnt be to lengthy or short. I got a nice template for it already. But dont know what the name should be.

Maybe I should start writing poems or complaints...maybe anonymous sarcasm...hmm...maybe just post photos everyday...

Any ideas guys?

Jan 19, 2010

My guitar :)



I got my guitar!!!

Yay... :)

Next step is to understand what do I do to get music out of it!!!

It cost me 4 k and its a gb&a..Got it from Premsons (one of the oldest stores in Bangalore) near Ulsoor lake. Too bad for me though am not much of a guitar-knowledge person, so Angad from Premsons helped me out lots in knowing more about these stringed beauties.

Definitely recommended for all music-instruments-wannabe-buyers!!!

Wonder if I should name the guitar...Strangely the name gypsy is playing on my mind....:)

Cheers!!!

Jan 12, 2010

Discrimination on the Basis of B school!!!

If you have been searching for this topic, welcome to the family!!!

Those of you having to read this by default (that is you have subscribed or have an RSS feed, humor me!!!)

Anyway, am expecting this to be a very hot topic and controversial topic. So please read the following at your own risk. I also know that corporates, do background checks and all that, and any comment or visit is absolutely at your risk. As for me, I dont give a damn until you convince me that am wrong. In which case I shall accept my mistake graciously

STATUTORY WARNING : Reading the following topic can be injurious to your paycheck/job opportunity/promotion etc

NOTE:

1. Any reference to any person is strictly for reference only
2. Any reference to any reference is for reference only.
3. No harm meant to toppers from any institute
4. Any thing that you might find derogatory was meant for someone else(in most cases the guy u hate)

Here goes,

On a recent forum, I found someone talking about shutting down IIT's in favor of using that money, in setting up more engineering colleges. They argued that quality of students produced would be more or less equivalent if the same educational facilities were offered to more people, than spending on infrastructure at the colleges. Mind you IIT's do cost a bomb.

Apart from being an interesting topic, what caught my fancy was this. Someone said...most grads from top college's move outta India (read U.S.A) to earn more money, and additionally because abroad, people recognize talent and promote it. Its not surprising to find people who work smart and hard move up the ladder quicker than in India.

In India, the competition is tougher and more difficult. And we suffer from two syndromes. "Scarcity" and "Brand"

Scarcity syndrome is defined as : while we have grown up, people have had to fight for the best, or more simply taught to compete for the best. As such, the ones that achieve the feat are automatically stars, as opposed to those that don't or those who dont aspire to . This is my problem number 1

Brand Syndrome is defined as: anything that is known for being top notch or popular automatically becomes "the ONLY" solution or answer to achievement. This is my problem number 2

This is how I bring the topic in. I agree that Top B schools provide the best methods of learning and measurement of learning. They do not guarantee the execution of that learning. They do not guarantee the quality of practical use and research on existing knowledge.
In short they don't guarantee practical results. Whatever the students have achieved at their work is what gives the school its name or brand. And there is no way to guarantee that all the students from these schools can achieve the same. Something like Polishing Rough Diamonds to polished ones with the best technology in the world.This may be due to various reasons.

Therefore : So all thats from top B school is not Gold
Are you still with me?Good.

Now there are Gadzillion colleges in this country of ours. Not all of them are known.So they arent Big Brands. So they dont attract the best talent, neither do they get the best facilities. So what they do get is mediocre students who they try to mould into a decent work force for the available jobs in the market. Its something like taking Iron and trying to mould it to something useful without having the right heat temperature. The Transformation to "Can be employed" from "cannot be employed" is BIG change.

Therefore : All that's from the non top B schools is not crap. I nfact the capacity to adapt and change is much larger than others (Read top B schools)

Here let me take a moment to talk to all you toppers from the top schools of this country. You deserve the credit. You deserve the recognition of cracking some of the toughest exams in the world. Your top notch. Absolutely.

But heres what your NOT. Your not above mistakes. Your not perfect. And your not invincible.

But then again the problems not with you. The problems are with corporates. For the love of God I fail to understand that why you wouldnt give a chance to someone who is not from a top college inspite of performing and inspite of showing talent that can be groomed. Its like when you have to promote someone whos not from a top college you have a hundred reasons. But if the same guy gets a degree from a top b school while working then hes automatically proved worthy and all your reasons disappear.

Why? Is it that you cant see the good work that he/she does in front of your eyes- And need additional proof from a top college?

Why cant you see character and integrity, instead of diploma and CGPA? Am not only talking about just existing employees but also while fresh recruits go on.

One of the Questions I asked recently on a professional Networking site, included on the process of recruting interview. Most of those who answered were international recruiters and stressed about the calibre of the person from previous work experience, or if a fresher the passion and sincerity in doing the work and "coachability"

NOT diploma. If you wanted a guy from a top B school, youd either be invited or would visit a top B school were the students would choose to work or not work with you. Not their fault, as they are brands themselves. You wouldnt mind coming back empty handed rather than look at people in your organisation.Who werent from top B schools. Why?

Why this obsession with Diplomas from Top B schools? Do you really need a diploma from the creme da la creme of Institutes to have all the gates open to you? Doesnt hard work, sincerity and intelligence count for anything? Just because you dint go to a Top B School make you any less deserving?Strange

Can you seriously prove a bolt made from the best factory in the world can fit all the nuts?!!

You cant can you?

If your not from a top B school, and yet perform well, youll get all the praise and additional work. But not a promotion. Not a raise. They know you can slog your arse off, but hesistate when it comes to paying you more for it. or putting you a step higher so that you can teach or lead others.

sigh. Come on. Sad.

Anyway, my roomies come back screaming about discrimination at his work place. so if you have anythging to say, the comments option is open :)

Cheers!!!

MadDy

Jan 11, 2010

My top songs

Since I was talking about music, I thought I might as well put up a list of my fav songs...forgive me if you find some of them old

(Right, like I care!!!)

Heres my all time (to be constantly updated!!!)

(in no particular order)
  1. Hotel California (Eagles)
  2. Another Day in Paradise (Phil Collins)
  3. Buffalo Soldier (Bob Marley)
  4. Daddy cool (Boney M)
  5. Love me for a reason (Boyzone)
  6. I do it for you (Bryan Adams)
  7. Please Forgive me (Bryan Adams)
  8. Careless whispers (George Michael)
  9. Clocks (coldplay)
  10. Viva la vida (Coldplay)
  11. Walking Away (Craig David)
  12. Cry me a river (Justin Timberlake)
  13. This years love (David Gray)
  14. Can you feel the love tonight (Elton John)
  15. Battle without honour (Tomoyasu Hotei/Kill Bill Soundtrack)
  16. The Sweet Escape ( Gwen Stefani)
  17. Have you ever really loved a woman (Bryan Adams)
  18. Hello (Lionel Richie)
  19. How to save a life (The Fray)
  20. I will always love you (Whitney Houston)
  21. I just called (Stevie Wonder)
  22. Crush (Jenifer paige)
  23. My heart will go on (Celine Dion)
  24. Picture of you (Boyzone)
  25. Have I told you lately (Rod Stewart)
  26. When you say nothing (Ronan Keating)
  27. Rose (Seal)
  28. Truly Madly deeply (Savage Garden)
  29. The Animal Song (Savage Garden)
  30. Saving all my love (Whitney Houston)
  31. Sexy eyes (whighfield)
  32. 2 become 1 (Spice girls)
  33. The Way I are (Timbaland)
  34. Cant help falling in love (UB40)
  35. Waiting for tonight (Jennifer Lopez)
  36. Sipping in the summer sun (Bacardi Blast)
  37. Where do you go (No Mercy)
  38. World Hold on (Bob Sinclair)
  39. Mysterious Girl (Peter Andre)
  40. Summer of 69 (Bryan Adams)
  41. I am not a girl (Britney Spears)
  42. Addicted (Enrique Iglesias)
  43. Roamer (Enrique Iglesias)
  44. Hero (Enrique Iglesias)
  45. One Night Stand (Enrique Iglesias)
  46. Dont Turn off the lights (Enrique Iglesias)
  47. Rhythm Divine (Enrique Iglesias)
  48. Hurricane (Scorpions)
  49. Complicated (Avril Lavigne)
  50. sk8er Boi (Avril Lavigne)
  51. I' with you (Avril Lavigne)
  52. In the End (Linkin Park)
  53. Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park)
  54. Numb (Linkin Park)
  55. Somwhere I belong (Linkin Park)
  56. New Divide (Linkin Park)
  57. Faint (Linkin Park)
  58. From the inside (Linkin Park)
  59. Hit the floor (Linkin Park)
  60. One Step closer (Linkin Park)
  61. Crawling (Linkin Park)
  62. Desert Rose (Sting)
  63. Dancing Queen (Abba)
  64. Take A chance on me (Abba)
  65. Bring me to life (Evanescence)
  66. Beautiful Stranger (Madonna)
  67. Feel (Robbie Williams)
  68. All the things she said (TaTu)
  69. Colur Blind (Daniels)
  70. Insatiable (Darren Hayes)
  71. Come into my world (Kylie Minogue)
  72. Love at First sight (Kylie Minogue)
  73. Can't get you outta my mind (Kylie Minogue)
  74. Bop Bop Baby (Westlife)
  75. Uptown Girl (Westlife)
  76. Someday (Bon Jovi)
  77. Its my life (Bon Jovi)
  78. How you remind me (Nickleback)
  79. Here I am (Bryan Adams)
  80. Whenever (Shakira)
  81. Objection tango (Shakira)
  82. come undone (Duran Duran)
  83. Frozen (Madonna)
  84. In the end (Linkin Park)
  85. Last Resort (Papa Roach)
  86. Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)
  87. Toxic (Britney Spears)
  88. Show me the meaning of being lonely (Backstreet Boys)
  89. As long as you love me (Backstreet Boys)
  90. Tequila Sunrise (Eagles)
  91. Billy Jean (Michael Jackson)
  92. Smooth Criminal (Michael Jackson)
  93. Black or White (Michael Jackson)
  94. Beat It (Michael Jackson)
  95. You rock my world (Michael Jackson)
  96. Earth song (Michael Jackson)
  97. Heal the world (Michael Jackson)
  98. Leave out all the rest (Linkin Park)
  99. Take a Picture (Filter / Girl Next Door OST)
  100. Bellas Lullaby (Carter Burwell)
  101. Full moon (The Black Ghosts)
  102. Dont stop the music (Rihanna)
  103. Disturbia (Rihanna)
  104. Umbrella (Rihanna)
  105. Hot n cold (Katy Perry)
  106. Right Around (Florida)
  107. In your eyes (Kylie Minogue)
  108. Take my breath away (Berlin)
  109. I gotta feeling (Black Eyed Peas)
  110. Forever (Chris Brown)
  111. Sexy Bitch (David Guetta)
  112. Havana (Kenny G)
  113. Don't Phunk with my heart (Black Eyed Peas)
  114. All that she wants (Ace of Base)
  115. Be my lover (La Bouche)
  116. ....to be updated
I got some new songs and old ones too which I shall update soon...Till then drop in your comments!!!

Managing Music

I dont call myself a music lover. But strangely I have over 18 GB of music. And a pretty decent collection of trance, hip hop, old classics, rock and so on...Except heavy metal (Cant make out whats the tune and whats the lyrics in it anyway..)

While I listen to different kinds of music, I never had a headache regarding managing the same. I had my play lists and updated new songs all neatly arranged, until my notebook crashed. After recovering the disks, picking out songs became a terror.

Most of my collections were numbered. And it was a pain trying to make out one song from another as most of the songs were named "Track 1" or "01". But now I have embarked on mission "remove-the-numbers-and -replace-with-names".Or something like that.

Don know how many days its gonna take. But guess it will be worth it. At least till the lappy crashes again!!!

Jan 8, 2010

Mcdonalds Sucks.

Let me tell you all a little story.

Once there was a big old beast called McDonald. The Beast used to serve hot and delicious burgers to little people like me. And when little people like me were too lazy to wake up and walk to them, they used to deliver to our little homes. For an extra fee of course. (Which most of the other beasts don't charge)

After countless deliverys, all of a sudden McDonald goes crazy. It must be all the money they must be making after so many little people started buying from them.

They deliver my orders 90 min late, thereby making me crazy in hunger.(11.30 pm)
They give me a leaking coke cup, tell me nothing is wrong (while the coke is dripping over their hands) and then finally change the coke 20 min late
On another occassion the guy delivers a "tikki burger" and tries to convince "ME" that its a mahraja mac.

Then they introduce their order tracking and delivery system, and after swearing never to order from them, I relent. And give it a try.

And they deliver 45min later. Again. For a house thats a 10min walk from their outlet. And they charge us for it. Its like the Beasts gone bonkers or something.

So the little people (like me) got angry and decided to boycott McDonald (The particular store) and give proper feedback to a decision maker from their company regarding "PAID" customer service. (If your from McDonald, or know someone from there show them this)

And till that happens the BEAST and the little people live happily ever after.

We did treat another BEAST (read P-I-Z-Z-A H-U-T) sometime ago with some liberal dose of the English Dictionary, and some mobile talk later we had a "forgiveness meal" offered. Which we dint take of course (tempted though we were) But lateral sources inform us that many little people have been facing the same beastly services recently. Guess the management is busy making money from cheap "dine-in" services.

Anyway, keep living people!!!

Maddy

Jan 3, 2010

2010

Hey there

Its been a long year. A year of confusions and decisions. Decisions amongst confusions and am not sure which was which. Anyway.

This year I do not make commitments or resolutions. Instead I decide to follow up and complete what my mind started 5 years ago. To decide my future and my destiny myself.

In other words, screw the world.

I mean, come to think of it, I have listened enough to everyone. This year is my year of independence. I will be running on 25 soon and I think this year has got to be the year that defines me. I have got to be the center stage, and every other damn act second step.

Its about time too. They say when you want something bad enough, the universe comes together to give it to you. Well this year am giving the universe lottsa work, so to speak.

I hope you have made up your mind too..

Till then

Live like theres no tommorrow.
MadDy!!!