Just Emkaying: Husband for Sale...

Jan 24, 2010

Husband for Sale...

With every thing today being on sale, it wouldn't be very far when husbands go on sale.I had this weird (or maybe not so weird...) thought the other day when a flu got me into bed early.

I could see a fine young woman walk into a store with a huge Billboard saying...

"Christmas offer...Book your husband early and get a 2 million credit card free" (ya like it was a 2GB memory card)

Seeing the sign the lady walks in and is approached by the sales girl(SG) at the counter...

SG : Hi, welcome to "Thank God its Husbands". How may I help you?

Lady : Hi, I wanted to have a look at the latest models on the husband market

SG : Sure. You will find the latest models with us. Is there anything specific you were looking for? Maybe a good looking model, or perhaps a more of a "will do the house work" models.

Lady : Well whats the latest in fashion these days?

SG : Well we find this special model thats been selling like crazy for the last few days

(pointing a dark tall muscular looking mannequin)

Lady : And whats special about it...

SG : Well we have HUGE consumer satisfaction with this model. But its not much of help around the house, neither does it come with a mute button. The language default is "Kalahari" so u got to use it in mute most of the time. Apart from that it doesnt come with a fashion sense other than the loin cloth. No Free credit card on this one, as its a basic model. Can Rap and disco if trained appropriately.

Lady : Oh. am looking for a more of a total use than a one that's just good in the...ummm..you know...

(Moving towards the next Mannequin)

SG : Ah. Perhaps we can interest you in this fair one. Its a Chinese make.

Lady : Is it sleeping?

SG : Oh No. The Facial features look like that. Its actually a good model and useful around the house. No Pests. You got to be careful with the food, as most of the pests end up there. Also you wont need house safety. This model comes with in built Kung fu skills and superior fitness regimes. Also you will get a 20% Discount on Jackie Chan Movies and on Noodle Bars.

Lady : Wow. Can I take it out to dinner? And what about with kids.

SG : You can take them out to dinner, but avoid non oriental restaurants. Fine around kids as long as you don't mind them gobbling up crawling insects. You also need to be careful with furniture. They tend to fly around a lot.Keeping them away from any living creature that's not human is a good idea. Will Definitely end up in cooking.Will insist on china made electronics and equipment. And oh yeah, You get a free pair of chop sticks and a samurai sword with this one.

Lady : Yikes!!! Am not in for that kind of action..How about this American looking one..

SG : This is quite a popular model with our Foreign clients

Extremely good while being sociable. Good fashion sense and speaks three languages apart from English. You get a FREE 2 million credit card on this one. Is extremely good sense of style and loves lavish lifestyle. Wont work during the Super Bowl though. Loves Beer. Will come in the best size dimensions that you would want. Also will carry a shotgun al la Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2. Is good at Law Suits. Will sue for anything almost.

Lady : Sounds too good to be true...Whats the catch?

SG : Well there's no warranty on this one. It tends to get bored with a single owners and is known to be disloyal and disappear at times.Too much on Facebook and can really bug you with clothes strewn around the house. Will insist on fixing everything by itself and mostly end up in a worse state. I Let you in on a secret..this ones not a keepers type.

Lady : Sigh...Do you have anything else?

SG : Well we have the last model. This ones from India.

Its a very loyal one. Will work around the house without compensation. Additionally will be obliged to buy you jewellery at all Indian festivals and yearly anniversary's. Will clean up after itself if scolded or a if you throw a few plates around. Will manage the house when your away, and clean utensils, do the laundry, take care of the kids, in laws and your parents too. Is fantastic at IT and will probably do all the math and take care of finances. Wont say much if you get bored and find an additional husband as well. You get a Free "Tandoori Chicken cook book" and Punjabi Rap CD.

All you need is to throw in a meal and a few peekaboo's now and then.

Lady : Sounds great!!! I 'll take it.

SG : Fantastic. Heres your starters kit. Make sure you have the language remote tuned to English. To get the model started, just play a music track from any Bollywood movie.

Lady : Thank you!!!

SG : Would you want to buy any more miss? We can give you a 50 % discount on your next purchase of a Husband!!!

Lady : I will consider it sometime. Thats all for now!!!

With that the lady turns out the door and leaves, walking out on to the pedestrian walkway, and I can focus on the "Husband" walking along side...Seems like a familiar face...same smile..same shirt...glasses...

YIKES!!! It looks like.....

Cheers!!! MaDdY

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