Just Emkaying: Here come the Parents

Sep 19, 2011

Here come the Parents

Yes Guys, they're coming. After 2 false alarms and multiple rounds of emotional negotiations, the parents are arriving on 16th. In the event that I never return to this blog, please come looking for me, as I might either be married off to some "good, homely girl" or be in one of the "the eligible bachelor" carnivals, roaming and being displayed from house to house to the parents of aforementioned females.

Apart from steeling myself from having 50% chance of seeing a lot of photos of women
loaded with makeup in very abnormal poses, or on the other hand having to "listen" to conversations of "No, he's not ready. These kids don't understand these days...i know she is very good looking, blah blah blah" and that sly look at me to see if I am listening. I guess they think they're being very "subtle" and smart about themselves!!!

Well that's one part of the visit. The other part being the preparations for the visit.

No matter what you do, there is no chance that you can be even 50% prepared for these attacks visits. All it takes is a cobweb under some table, or a brown 1 cm smudge on the mosaic floor, a spot of soap on a washed Utensil, and there comes a flood of nagging and lectures on discipline and seriousness in life.

Why such extremes you ask? You see, I haven't stayed with my parents for more than 5 days in the last 6 years. So obviously, the Quota of "gyaan" has to be downloaded at any given opportunity.

My Preparations so far have been as below

1. Clear the kitchen of everything, except utensils (Some 4 bags of expired food, masala,etc almost threw away the stove)
2. Hide my collections of Maxim's and T3, etc in some corner of a unreachable cabinet
3. Scrub the floor over 2 weeks, to get the original color of the floor back
4. Sent of all my laundry to, Errr the launderers for washing [and storage for a good 15 days ;) ]
5. Collected a good half truck of bottles of Alco beverage to be disposed off.
6. Memorized answers for all possible questions on job, friends, girl friends and that crazy suicidal dog on our floor
7. Tore down all the lovely L'Oreal posters :(
8. Drawing up action plans for household goods- bedsheets, blankets, etc
9. Finding out sources of normal food
10. And Practicing my defense against the stubborn mum's arts

While practice makes perfect, this is a decisive moment. This time they are on my turf, and I can't let any loose ends. I plan to keep a backup girlfriend ready just in case of emergencies.

Meanwhile I might have to go down to Chennai, so chances are the visit could get shortened. A whole 10 days could end up being just 4, so let's see where this goes.

Wish me well comrades!!! I make the bachelors stand here and soon!!!