Just Emkaying: TS 14 Smoke in the house

Dec 21, 2008

TS 14 Smoke in the house

Its difficult living in guilt. A guilt of not knowing what went wrong and what didn't. Whether your supposed to say sorry or not. PW was a bit stand offish in the days that followed. Much to my distress, neither did Mohan nor Seema know of what the reason was behind Pw's behaviour. And even if they knew, they weren't telling me for some reason.

Meanwhile, post picnic there were problems in the class. The people who weren't "invited" along the trip, weren't amused and were taking out their ire in different ways. They called people names, started bullying the weaker guys, spread the news of the girls and guys going out to the college "radios". In short the class wasn't getting the right publicity, let alone keeping the news hush hush.

Apparently some one in the wannabe crowd had opened their mouths to the uninvited gang, thereby getting their immunity against any possible backlash.

But what happened was now a turn of events hardly anyone accepted. The lecturers stared at us with accusing eyes. The seniors taunted anyone crossing their corridors. There was infighting amongst classmates.

But as I understood it from Roshan, it wasn't just that some people were left back. The whole issue was that the guys and "girls" went along, thereby creating instant jealousy amongst the left behinds. And as I understood, PW had become a quite popular girl, and almost everyone joined in the jealousy of having being left out.

This brought about a vary awkward state in the class. It was disgusting. 

As far as I went, I dint know what to do. I suddenly realised the weight of what I was doing. I felt lost and weak. The competition to grab Pw's attention was now at college level, and that very thought was revolting. O maybe I was mind was going hyper again...

Meanwhile, Murali was being his usual self. Making the chats with the girls and ignoring the guys. And I was completely dependent on his promise to help things between me and PW. I wasnt supposed to talk or say anything to the girls myself, as I might damage his "work" so to speak.

I wasn't very chatty anyway with the girls anyway...It wasn't an ego problem or something but more of not being used to the same...a more shy side of me I'd say. I could hold a conversation, but not start one. So Murali's non interference clause on me wasn't much of a problem to me...

But somehow his behaviour in the class wasn't going down too well with some people...

1 comment: