Just Emkaying: Flight 6E

Apr 23, 2012

Flight 6E

The announcement was weird. The flight name was a play on the word "Sexy", which was shamelessly self patronizing. "Oh so Pretty..." their current ad campaign said and it was exactly what their hostesses looked liked. Leaving the Reds far behind, these chic looking ladies trotted around the airports in precise unison, and made him ponder if this was some kind of marketing gimmick. He never did like Red.

His attention was diverted by the guy shuffling back from the front to the back of the serpentine Que, a rare event in Indian Airports. He had missed his security stamp on the backpack, which meant going all the way back to security checking. These airports were full of characters, people from all parts of the country merging in large cold, heartless auditoriums, to be flown to different sister auditoriums. What broke the monotony, was either the shrill shriek of a baby, or a good book. In this case, in spite of both , his mind floated amongst the crowds of tops and short skirts, Skinny Jeans and tight T shirts with no purpose, with no intent.

It was 6.45, and the sun hadn't set in the city. But it was low enough to throw light right into his face, exposing his ill grown stubble, and a book that looked suspicious. He hated luggage, and avoided carrying anything into the cabin, while others insisted on carrying all their luggage on their person. He pursed his lips at them, imagining that they felt some nasty fellow would steal it mid air from the luggage compartment. A good theme for a tweet. But he decided against it.

The Bus stopped, and the mad rush to get into the plane began. You'd think it was a spaceship saving the human race from extinction and there were limted seats.

He got in, and then he saw her. Super Cute and super unaware of the amount of attention she was going to get. She had those cute wig things on, (as much as he'd want to believe they weren't) and had this no nonsense look which she was struggling to pull off. Red lipstick went well with the whole get up, and her face was well framed with the hair locks around her cheeks.
As the plane took off, he prayed that she was in his part of the aisle. He began to play his most entertaining game of all.

"Do you mind moving in?" said the lady who owned seat 2B, temporarily stalling his game.

He usually took the aisle seat for leg room. And he ordinarily wouldn't have turned down a request, but here there was a lot more at stake.

"Am sorry, but am uncomfortable in there. Am on the heavier side you see" A Lame joke that drew a smile and probably a mind full of thoughts on how males were chauvinist pigs.

He went back to his subject, who was now busy doing the safety demonstration. Very eager, unlike the extremely boring and hurried announcer, who was the cabin captain, or whatever fancy name they kept coming up for such things. He guessed she'd probably be new to the flight or was a trainee. She kept herself busy, avoided all eye contact, and put on this air of being very strict with her cross checking of Safety Belts.

He wondered. What was the appropriate time to approach her and ask her for her number. Wait, that was a good line maybe. On the way out, he could check perhaps. But that could turn out wrong if she didn't acknowledge him. So then he would have to wait till everyone had left, and then be the last one out. He began playing out the conversation.

Him - " Excuse me, but what time do you get off work?"
Her - "Why?"
Him - "Well I wanted to ask you out for a coffee once you're done"

That was a boring ending. Maybe an alternate

Him - "Excuse me miss, but what would be the appropriate time to ask an air hostess for a drink?"
Her - "Well that would depend, sir, on whom you're asking"
Him - "Well what would be the answer, if lets say I was asking you?"

It didn't seem to be going well. There was too much logic here, and no magic whatsoever. It wasn't working.

"Hello Sir!!! What can I get you today?"

Startled, he looked up. Into those dark brown eyes that were intently asking him his choice of food and beverage. Oh how he wish they were asking him something else.

"K K K Cookie!!!" " And a diet pepsi" he added for effect.

He remembered chuckling seeing the manual they had placed in the front pocket. "The First Airline to serve Cookies in Reusable Tins." was one of their achievements. It was Top of mind, and first to blurt out. Idiot.

She smartly handed him his cookie tin and diet pepsi, smiled, and moved on. Oh the knife was getting deeper now.

And all of a sudden, he felt a stare on him. His fellow passenger was staring at him. The lady, whom he refused to shift seats for, was staring at him. He began to see a new angle to the whole thing. What if she complained or screamed? Or maybe this fell in perview of sexual harassment. He was on company business, he'd lose his job, get into the papers, what a miserable day for his family?!! Goodness, the amount of things that could go wrong!!!

She was serving the guests on the other side of the aisle, when the old rascal crossed by, allowing his hand to "float" along with him, or more aside her backside. She did'nt seem to notice, or was trained to expect and ignore. The bastard turned and sheepishly raised a hand, indicating it was unintended.

He on the other hand, had already planned to push the cunning old scrawny little sexist down the twin ramp and into the engine fans the moment the plane stopped. How could that m***** f****, *beep* *beeeep*, SOB lay his hands on her?!! He imagined again, his face turning red, and him kicking the living hell out of his opponent.

"This is the Captain speaking, Cabin crew please confirm for landing"

He had to take a call. The Plane landed with a thud, and was taxied into the hangar. While the commotion ensued to be the first person out of the aeroplane and onto territorial soil, he waited for his fellow passenger to move out. To her, he was being polite. But to him, he wanted the witch out of his way.

As the subject of his attention came ahead, he looked right into her eyes, hoping to catch her gaze.

"Thank you for......." he began

She looked to the person behind him, smiled sweety and repeated, "Thank you Sir"

"....the wonderful" he trailed off, as he mumbled something to an unseen recepient, in the hot humid breeze outside.

World 1. Him 0.

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