Just Emkaying: Shocking News : Humpty Dumpty falls. City under alert.

Sep 30, 2010

Shocking News : Humpty Dumpty falls. City under alert.

29th September.

Bangalore. Last night in a shocking development, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. While he has been admitted to the Incy Wincy Spider Memorial hospital , doctors are unsure about putting him back together again. Dr. Fevikwik has said that Humpty is now shaky and unstable, and has sent word for his dear Kings men and his horses.

The accident happened at the Anand Rao Circle at around 7.30pm on Tuesday. A Bystander told Daily Mirror that the auto rickshaws were blatantly charging Baa Baa Black sheep Rs 250 for a trip up the hill to Lalbagh, while a regular Jack and Jill cab service charges merely Rs 135. This shock was too much for Humpty Dumpty, who in an effort to help Baa Baa fell of his perch and cracked his crown. Lucky for him, Jack, (from Jack and Jill Cab Services) who had prior experience of these kind of injuries, was around and was quick to rush Humpty to the nearest hospital.

However the Ali Baba (and his band of thieves) Auto rickshaw union has a different story. In an exclusive interview, Inspector Simple Simon told Daily Mirror that the Auto Rickshaw union had filed a complaint against Humpty. In this report, they claim that Humpty was abusing every pedestrian on the road, and they had to intervene when he assaulted Mary and her little lamb. While the crowd that gathered tried to bring in a mediation between Humpty and the Union, it started raining, and  sudden chant of Rain Rain go away startled Humpty and he slipped and fell. Mary and her little lamb remained unavailable for comment.

Meanwhile, the Lakh-se-Tauba has claimed full responsibility for this catastrophic attack on Mr. Humpty, and has warned that if the others want to survive, they should call of their silly rhymes and dancing around a ring of poises.

"Our next target is Jack and Jill, and we shall slaughter those infidels if they continue climbing the hill together", said their spokesperson, Mr. Jaffar, who also holds the title of Chief advisor to the Sultan of Baghdad.

However in related developments, China has blamed India for assaulting Humpty, an international figure, and providing poor security. The chief cartoon office released  a statement claiming that they should now look at this event as proof that they need to intervene at every given opportunity to lay claim at the northern boundaries of the country.

Pakistani officials have also claimed that this was a deliberate attack on Humpty by Indian State authorities, for his recent visit to Pakistan under the guise of his latest movie "An apple a day"  to be released by Twinkle Twinkle little star Productions,  and have asked the US for 1.5 billion dollars in aid to deal with this new threat. There was also a Public rally of 6 people, amidst random bomb blasts, claiming that Humpty was being tortured for supporting Pakistani cricket.

Indian Authorities, meanwhile were unsure of who Mr. Humpty Dumpty was, and have instead pointed us towards Mr. Suresh Kalmadi, who seems to be the main suspect behind Shera(the mascot of CWG) disappearing. The ruling party spokesperson told reporters that this was an attack by the opposition to push for reservation for Indian Cartoons in B-Schools, as was the current case in Parliament

"This is an issue they must take up. Indian Cartoons should be protected, and this "phoren" cartoons taught a lesson. After all, we are better cartoons than them" said the spokesperson for an opposition pary.When asked about their views on the recent "pink chaddi campaign", they went Pink.

Reported by special correspondent, Bambi at Bangalore.

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