Just Emkaying: Water Water everywhere.

Feb 19, 2012

Water Water everywhere.

Of the 70.9 % water that exists on this planet, (Earth, in case your wondering) at least 10% must be in my street. I find myself invariably victim to waterfalls, flash floods and tropical rains all the time. The only place there is a shortage of water seems to be in our bathroom. A Fact, which should not be used to judge the way we live and our hygiene standards.

Take for example my neighbor number 1. He loves his car. He loves his dog. And he loves water. Understandable, perfectly normal behavior of people. Its the mass bath orgy of the above three that makes it absolutely psychopathic. Imagine a Wet Dog, A Wet Car and a Wet whats-his-name-in-lungi in the middle of the road, soaping whom or what in the most disgusting way possible. At the cost of millions of mugs of water, (which we poor folk would wash our asses with for a month) this man floods the roads for three days a week. That Dog must be the most twisted thing on animal planet, frolicking around in soap. Tell me which dog loves soap?!! If National Geographic ever made a porn channel, that dog would by Sunny Leone.

Comes next, is my Neighbor number 2. She stays right below us, has a few balcony plants, and has occasional visitors. Again, very normal. Its when she turns into Jane of the Jungle and insists on giving her entire floor the feel of a rain forest is when it gets scary. She and her trusted sidekick, (No, No, not George) Jilly of the Jungle, splash around buckets of water, creating a waterfall off her second floor to the ground. Add to this, Loud Tamil Songs and you have the perfect setting of Avatar in Tamil. And whenever she has visitors, the whole building turns into Dhobi Ghat. You can definitely say, Shes Kolaveri-ding the asses out of us.

Finally, but not the least, (actually the most) is our side-wala neighbor. Every night, at 11 pm, they walk over to our terrace and steal water. STEAL WATER. Remember that Quantum of Solace movie? Where the villain is hoarding water? Deja vu. They Believe that the Goddess of water has a permanent residence in our 500 liter water tank, and will never run of water. Either that, or we have our water supply from Water Kingdom.

We did try talking it out with them. Neighbor 1 was OK, but his dog wasn't. If someone so much as farted on our terrace, she'd go on a crazy barking spree. (Yes the dog's a bitch. Now do you see why its twisted?)
Neighbour 2 only ended up buying more plants to justify her water usage. Neighbor 3 made a big improvement. They bought a bigger hose and shifted stealing time to 12pm.

The Only Saving Grace was our ground wala neighbors. She'd keep telling us when the water supply was on, and that we should store up water. I think that had a lot to do with the way we looked/smelt when we left for work. Real Morale booster that, right in the morning when your leaving to work.

The Irony of it all? We Pay the Water Bill.


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