Just Emkaying: Why You No Marrying, Beta?

Jul 6, 2012

Why You No Marrying, Beta?

On one of my last conversations with mum, (who invariably has two topics on her mind all the time) the topic of debate was marriage. (So you know which topic was left - weight loss)

Sometimes I wonder if single men give off some kind of vibe that set's your parents biological clock to get you married ticking. 

So we were talking, or more she was persuading and I was batting like Raphael Nadal (Yes, batting) scrambling from one defense to the other, before she had me stumped with a blinder. 

"You have to get married next year, or there will be no girls left" 

I quickly did a one handed Google search - had the Mayans figured out the survival rate of eligible women after the EOW in 2012? And worse, had the reports reached mum before me?!! (Sacrilege on my self styled social media expert status, no?)

Mum doesn't try too hard. She just throws doubts in my way and just waits for a confirmation of some sorts. I bet if I so much as nod on this end of the phone, she'd figure it out and blow the bugle. And Tata Safari's of random aunties would pop out with Grandmothers-sisters-chachi's-betas-cousin's-husband's-doctor's-veterinary college professor's-brother's-dog's-mother's owner's best friend's daughter's hand for marriage.  

Mental Note to Self - Must find if there's a defense-against-the-mum-who's-trying-to-get-you-married-arts class near Versova. 

Anyways, coming to the topic, the things parent's say to convince you if you plan to get married or are refusing to get married are unbelievable. And the conviction they say it with...Uff!!!

Like, when I told my parents that I would let them know if I ever found someone I wanted to get married to, my Dad goes "I don't care who you marry, as long as she is from our community and she's a homely girl" 

Ah. I see some of you nodding heads. 

And this - "We need to get the word out and find a good girl for you, these day's their very hard to find."

Gee, how perceptive of you guys, thanks!!! I can stop random Friend requests and socializing now.

"If we start searching now, it will take a couple of years to find a match"

I can see that set of eligible profiles in your back pocket, Dad.

"You are getting older, people are asking about you. You have a great job and a good salary. What's your problem?"

So now your bullish on this commodity on the market that's...how do I say it, matured?

"Other guys your age are having kids and handling responsibilities while working!!! Why are you so stuck up about this?"

Responsibilities. I rest my case

"Just meet this girl. She's smart, educated, good looking and everything. Just your type"

Isn't Jessica Alba already married?

"What's wrong in just meeting her once?"

Righty!!! I am feeling mighty lucky today. Lottery anyone?

"What do we know about this girl friend of yours huh? Different background, culture. How will she fit in to the family? What will your uncles and aunties say about us?"

Uh huh. They'll keep gossiping, even after feasting on the marriage dinner. We'll get even when their Darling springs the North Indian surprise at them in a month or so.

"Why won't you just listen to us and get married ?"

A four letter word - Love

What happens once you get married? Now that's a topic of many a movie and recently, a commercial for an insurance brand :) Not to mention the entry of the greatest proponent and secret power behind it all - Grandma. 



  1. Haha ! Reading this blog post was a hilarious ride all the way..it kept me in splits till its very last word :) I must say that you have quite successfully managed to touch the chord of people who are single but yes, not ready to mingle. :). Also I would like to mention here something which I am sure you must have heard from many people;you have a great sense of writing (read your other blogs too so this opinion) and very fresh feel to it. Have you ever considered writing a novel ? If not, you must. Just a suggestion! :)

    1. Awww!!! Thank you. I love feedback that praises my writing. Do keep dropping in, and share the good word :)

    2. Due...bahut maja..aaaya specially

      Grandmothers-sisters-chachi's-betas-cousin's-husband's-doctor's-veterinary college professor's-brother's-dog's-mother's owner's best friend's daughter's hand for marriage.

    3. Hey Drop in the Dowry word in "I wont marry any one without getting a crore in hard cash, some couple as FDs, 3 - 5 acre pieces of land in Mumbai near cuff parade. a chartered plane with 2 airhostess always aged 25 years" The good part is that, well if you actually do get a girl with the above, just bloody change your mind and marry! Rejoy

    4. Ah, you are so naive my friend. Where is there land near cuff parade? :D

  2. Hilarious Maddy!! Just got to reading a few of your blogs!! Apart from parents there are horde of other "happily married" friends, acquaintances who constantly ask you this one ques - When are you getting married?... Arrrghhh like that's the sole purpose of your life. :D