Pages

Jun 15, 2013

Man who hates steel - Movie review

Am coming out fresh from a viewing of the most awaited, hyped Christopher Nolan's "Man of Steel" with a new superman, a new theme and a new, well not so original but nonetheless different title.

Fan boys of Nolan can stop reading now. I know how you are going to feel, because as an Apple Fan Boy I know how it feels when people make these critical remarks on Apple. Of course I just laugh it off and come home and stick needles in my voodoo dolls (I have quite a collection). But then that's me.

And to make things clear, I like Nolan movies.

So ready or not here it comes. (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I rated the movie 5 star out of 10 on IMDB. Basically because it doesn't give me an option to have negative ratings, and I haven't rated movie lower than 6 yet. Also before I explain my views, let me give you an idea of how I watch movies.

Hollywood Action - Popcorn and Coke
Hollywood Comedy - No Popcorn and Coke, owing to expected laughter and hence spillage
Hollywood Romance - Expect Skin Show
Bollywood Action - Expect Cars blowing up
Bollywood Romance - Hope no one shows skin
Bollywood Comedy - Leave brains at home
Jackie Bhagnani  Movie - Stay at home

Man of Steel for the first 25 minutes is interesting. It's a nice plot and intriguing. Then it goes all haywire to some damned planet trying to save itself, and Star Trek like stuff and then there's an evil villain who looks like a square Stone Cold Steven Austin, swearing revenge like some South Indian villain. At this point, I am still interested.

Cut to super hero child hood, miracle miracle, self doubt and life and blah blah. The problem with this part, and I'd expect it to be the most strongest character part is that its in too little bits and pieces and is just irritating. Lame dialogues add to the misery. At this point am looking for food.
I am Man of Steel. I thrash Buildings.

Lois Lane plays a nice cameo as a Tough-Smart-Ass-Media-Bitch-Sunny Leone type thing before turning into a good girl with a hint of warm Apple pie. Melts at the mere mention of Superman's sad confused life story. Stupid. At this point am checking out the crowd.

Add a generous helping of flying objects, 70% of crashing buildings and more buildings falling, burning buildings, buildings making out with other buildings etc. In this chaos, villains henchmen (in G I Joe costume, no less) fight Superman in the streets of the city. All the while, yes you guessed it, more thrashing buildings, cars, shops, trucks etc with no concern or thought to people IN THOSE BUILDINGS. We know they are sets, but at least act like they're not. I think it should have been named "Man who hates Steel Buildings". At this point am suicidal.

The only difference is that the Army, FBI, CIA, IA, Special Ops, Navy Seals, Marines, SWAT, etc are NOT shown as the only answer to world problems. In fact, they are almost friendly and defer to Superman. (WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with these people?!!!)

Enter villain. And Giant Flying object with pathetic name. Add more crashing buildings, yada yada yada, fight fight, superman does some self belief course, beats the bad machine, and finally a long one on one with the villain, who he kills by twisting the neck in the last minutes. (Note: Superman almost destroyed the city fighting villain henchmen by bashing them with other stuff)

Finally, Superman gets a job at the media agency that Lois Lane works in. Clark Kent. Tadaaaah!!!

Phew.

But its a great movie if you are in the architecture business or like watching buildings blowing up and all that. Also, the Sunny Leone comment above was a joke. Don't go to watch the movie expecting that. Ain't happening.

There's this hilarious part of Superman's Costume as well, but whatever.

Of course Henry Cavill makes a better superman. But that's about it. Give me Wolverine and Dark Knight any day.

Please go watch the movie. Am sure some part of you will still want to watch it. Let me know how it went in the comments below.

Cheers
M


3 comments:

  1. That's some review there Maddy..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Hamie!!!, anger brings out the best in me :D

      Delete
  2. hahaha...Great review mate....i felt the same while watching it. Much hyped but it sucked big time.
    Went to watch this one because Nolan's name was associated with it but then again he was the producer.
    Keep up the good work! :)

    http://aficionadolog.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete