Kotak Mahindra, the new Tele Terror.

I am a forgiving person. A very forgiving person. And it takes quite a bit to really p**s me off. And to get me to crib on my blog. But there are some that won't give up. Relentless and bordering on harrasment, KOTAK finally made it to my head and on to Daily Mirror.

My tryst with KOTAK began when one fine rainy evening a couple of years back. I was sipping tea (or was it rum?) when my phone rang
. The guy on the other end wanted me to shell out some money for some insurance plan or a demat account, and being the naive guy that I was, I agreed. (Loud Thunder could be heard in the back drop). To cut a long CRIB short, I signed up for some policy, which ended up like below

- I get the documents after 6 months. Damaged. Worn out.
- The button like magic code thing inside was Damaged.
- There was random scribbling on the envelope, something in between a smiley and the middle finger
- And yes they mentioned about "FANTASTIC" consumer service award on thier letter head, which was the only thing legible by the way. (Must have been a typo error)

Anyways, after all my complaints and threats, failed to create the tsunami effect, I let go of them and MY MONEY, and cursed them for all a guy was worth. It took them 2 years to call me and take down my complaint. Never heard of them since on that issue.

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BUT NOW,

ON ONE HOT SUMMER AFTERNOON, 2010

ONE MAN (Madan Cruise/Pitt/Clooney/Brosnan/Craig/Potter)

FACED THE ONE THING HE DREAD,

THAT WAS TO CHANGE THE LIVES OF MANY CALL CENTRE EXECUTIVE's

Tele Terror Call 1
CC :"Sir, this from Kotak Mahindra, We have a....."
MKMK: " Listen, I had some bad experiences with ...."insert above KOTAK Story here"
CC: "Oh am sorry for the incovenience, I shall get back to you soon sir."
Click

Tele Terror Call 2
CC(Female): "Hello Sir!!! Am calling from KOTAK and we have some good plan...."
MKMK: "I really don't have the time and am not interested in dealing with KOTAK"
CC: "But the plan is ..."
MKMK Click

Tele Terror Call 3
CC: "Hello sir am calling from KOTAK Mahindra Bank and..."
MKKM: "IF I GET ONE MORE CALL FROM YOU GUYS, THEN AM GOING TO THE COPS"
Click

Tele Terror Call 4
CC: "Goodmorning Sir!!!"
MKMK:" Goodmorning
CC: " Sir we from KOTAK Mahindra have a wonderful plan..."
MKMK: " **%##!!! %$~!!! Beep. Beep Beep. kisne number diya be, #**%^!!! !!
Click

And there was peace for a week.

AND THEN WHEN THE WAR WAS WON, THE BATTLE BEGAN...

Terror Call 5
CC: "Mr. Madan?"
MKMK : "Yes"
CC: " We have a great one time offer for you. This will help your taxes..."
MKMK: "What is this about?"
CC: "Sir, From KOTAK we are...."
MKMK: "!!!"

(the Torture continues....)
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Because of Kotak, I am now scared of my phone. I place it in a glass, away from my hands. I have a nervous break down whenever I see a unkown number calling. I run across the parking lot, scared that some KOTAK sales guy will attack me with sales forms. I have hid my office phone under stacks of paper, and removed my name from the office calling list. I close my eyes near any bank. I pass out when I see ads on the newspaper. I can go on and on.

Bottom Line, Kotak Mahindra is out to get you. Bug you until you say yes. And then with their promise of customer satisfaction, they will take your money and leave you in peace.

Be safe,
Hassled Consumer