Just Emkaying: October 2012

Oct 14, 2012

How to fight Corruption in India? From the Top.

Let me begin this post with a story.

The Auto I got into was driven by a young chap. Maybe 20 years old. And he was furious. Very Very Mad and it took him all of 5 seconds to engage me in a conversation which had him talking and me "huh huh'ing" all the way. For sake of this post, lets call him Raju.

The object of Raju's anger was a ticket that he was handed by a traffic cop in the morning. From his explanation, I understood that this cop kept picking on him and the other auto drivers on some flimsy issue or the other. Like lack of documents, non functioning indicators, cutting signals etc. ( Let me point out, these violations were considered flimsy by Raju, not me. In my opinion violations are violations, no matter how small or large.)

While he tried his best to "adjust" the matter with the cop, he refused and cut the auto driver a ticket. Because of this, the auto driver had to roam the courts the whole day and pay a fine of 1500. His fury at having lost a day's earnings and having to be noted in the court was so huge, that he proudly showed me a mean hockey-like stick under his seat. He vowed to teach the cop a "lesson" and narrated stories of how these cops catch these auto wala for stupid things like faulty indicators, broken lights, old meters, and sometimes do it deliberately when they refuse to pay the bribe, or to increase the bribe.

On this occasion, the cop had given him the ticket and did not agree to "adjust". And Raju strongly felt because it was some personal agenda, though he couldn't say what it exactly was.

That was the story. But it raised grave questions in my mind. On the life stages of corruption. How can you tackle corruption?

Taken from here
First and foremost, who is giving these auto guys driving licences? even when they don't know the basic regulations? Obviously some RTO official whose hands are greased and does not do the due diligence. Why does he take a bribe? Because he has probably paid a huge one to get the plum posting. Plum for two reasons, one it's a Government job, and second the additional "implied" income. So why did the person who "Arranged" for the plum posting take a bribe? Well, there are too many applicants, he has control over the situation, and merit based job offerings hardly exist. Also someone has given him the task of appointing people that will bow to his masters will, therefore starting another chain in itself. Now multiply this one scenario across government organizations, and you will realize why it is a self feeding system, and why a few honest and upright people cannot affect large scale change.

Now the other part. The Cop who refused to take a bribe and cut the ticket. Let's assume that he is honest guy and for a change wanted to be honest. What are the possible risks he has taken? One, being "marked" out as the honest one that can create a problem amongst his peers. Two, an auto driver has the guts to scheme against an upholder of the law. The numbers are definitely in favor of the auto walas.

But honestly, tell me, who is the major money maker here? Is it the cops? Or is it the Government office? Everyone in the system at the middle or the bottom, has a reason or need to do it. (Am not justifying corruption)

But what about the people at the top?

What about those who make law, and the ones who decide, the ones who rule. The Ones that WE elect?

If you tell me, that these top guys can make money and siphon off money to all parts of the world, but cannot  change a corrupt system, I beg to differ.

Instead of getting 100 crore + people to change, why can't we ensure that 500+ elected representatives, and their like at the state level to change a system?

A baby born into this world is not born corrupt and dishonest. It's the system that turns them into corrupt people. Education may teach a child what is right and what is wrong, but out of the school, everything is the reverse. At every point the child see's just the opposite of what is being taught in school.

I hope I have made sense to the larger audience.

This time around, please make two choices to change this country.

2. Vote for the right candidate, a person who is not corrupt, has no criminal cases, and is not part of a party that has corrupt officials in it. Remember, an honest person in a corrupt party cannot remain honest for long.

Of course, this does not absolve us from being corrupt ourselves. This also does not mean that we sit back and blame the ones at the top. The only point I am making is that you can do a greater deal by Voting right, and encouraging people to vote right.

Jai Hind.

Oct 8, 2012

Toilet Ratios and more

The past week has been an interesting one. From Sur Kshetra contestants mentored by a Nasal singer and a 24/7 heart broken voice, to Big Boss 6 vying for the space in the drama entertainment scene against our most long lasting drama series ever - Politics.

In unrelated notes tissue paper rolls, also released this week was the drastic eye opener to the state of toilets in this country, which has people in all parts shitting themselves silly (including yours truly) and clogging social media sites across the world.

Honestly, I don't see why there is such a fuss about the whole thing anyway.Did Slumdog Millionaire Not show us the sad state of bowel cleaning facilities in Mumbai vis a vis the number of Apartment complexes that are coming up in every nook and corner of the city. An ADARSH example is it not? 

And what's a little honesty and shit cladden cuteness to get an Oscar eh?

It's just a statement that there were more temples than toilets.You'd think as the in-charge of Rural Development since July 2011, they'd have realized this sooner and done something about it. But you must keep in mind that there is still a lot of things they need to count. Like the number of benefits that one can get by being the son in law of....err never mind. I don't want to die.

On a similar note, I wonder what the stats are in our central state, where a certain leader had statues of herself put up everywhere in vast stone gardens that could probably house, what a 1000 toilets?

In fact I am a staunch believer in such constipation-beating ratios. For example what is the ratio of toilets in the capital, versus that amount of MONEY that went down the same drain for the Commonwealth Games.

But these are very smart people. For example, in states where there is a water crisis, like Karnataka (being an opposition party government is mere coincidence, I assure you) you create an additional shortage of water to justify the number of toilets that exist. BRILLIANT. All these people who are cribbing can't see the brilliance of your plans. 

In all fairness of course, a minister can only compare such an important issue like basic sanitation and toilets, with another grave issue such as education, povertydrinking water, health care, roads, food shortage,irrigation, crop failure,  Temples. What use is faith in such dire consequences anyway? 

And after all, these religious institutions have so much of money that the common man willing puts in, that are used only for making hospitals and educational facilities and all that. Who will save poor Swiss banks if we can't get our hands on that? 

The most dark toilet ratio would probably be the coal one. I mean tons and tons of coals passed on to friendly neighborhood businesses. What's wrong in that? Let them make a little money. That some of the relatives are sitting on the board of these companies, (and probably using the office toilets, of course) has nothing to do with it. 

Imagine what a beautiful toilet ratio this would be - the amount of cash and gold flushed down the toilets of all those politicos those Income Tax people raided? Must've clogged half the states plumbing. My bowels are itching with anticipation at the probable numbers!!!

Sigh. Perhaps the toilet ratios in Switzerland are far better than here, must explain the amount of money they have stuck up there. I wonder if they will ever be flushed back to where they belong. Without these Swiss toilets, we'd probably be on of the richest nations around. Stinking Rich mostly.  

Speaking of which, the toilet beckons. 

:) M

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed here are my own and hold no affiliation to any organization, existing or past whatsoever. The contents above are satirical in nature and does not indicate any person or organization, living or dead. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. 

Oct 6, 2012

To Do Lists and Food

You may have noticed that I have not posted for a month or so now.

(If No - I shall assume even that if you haven't, you were probably down with the worst case of dysentery, and that the location you live in is plagued by an attack of idol-carrying-warriors who yelled and chanted late enough into the night that resulted in you trying to catch some sleep inside the washing machine & *mumble* *mumble* ....cut your access to the most important part of your online world - my blog)

Wouldn't it be easier to have said yes, instead of read through that random paragraph?

Taken from here
Now the topic for the day is To-Do Lists and Food. The latter part I am well versed with, endowed with magical digestion *touch wood* properties of Ghatotkacha and the likes. There hardly is a restaurant in Mumbai that doesn't smile at the sight of a wobbling customer, more so if he wobbles naturally and without beer in him already. And when it comes to wobbling figure, you know who's the boss. *wink wink*

I actually wanted to write about another of my Taxi driver encounters (the best yet actually) I controlled my urge to do so. (You see, I have updated my IndiBlogger web details, I did not want them to categorize my website under "Weird Transport driver obsessed Blogs". As it is there are enough obsessions in this city to deal with)

So coming back to the To-Do list. I am big fan of making these lists. I sit down, and spend a lot of time in thinking through how I should categorize them, how I should number them, which pen I should you use...etc. After which I write them in the best handwriting, and so concise that even Twitter would be proud of. And I insist that I mark them as done and not done and all that. Once I am done, I dust my page for effect, turn the page and inspect the imprint on the back page, and then ......*drum roll*........


*vuvuzela roll*

*chicken roll*
....close the book.

I didn't say I actually did something about what I was supposed to do. You see, I'd like to know things that I need to do, so that in case someone catches me off guard, I can always thrust my neat book in their face and say - "See, it's right there. Point 7, 3rd sentence after the appropriately grammered semi colon.That too in handwritten Verdana  font size 11. Ha."

I can see some of you nodding heads. This strategy works especially well, when cornered in a high level meeting, or if lagging behind on task and there is a cricket match, or when the wife wants you to get something, etc.Of course, the more often you use it, the less effective it gets. It's mostly okay to just threaten to bring out the To-Do book to scare them, instead of actually bringing it out.

Now coming to the second topic. Food.

Food is good. Food is tasty. Which reminds me, its time to have some.

:) M