Just Emkaying: 2 Mistakes

Feb 5, 2012

2 Mistakes

He came across as fun and exciting. He was from Bangalore. He seemed to live everything that I always wanted to. Apart from regular small talk there wasn't much that anyone had in common with him. But there was also this aura of "I know what I am doing" around him that was irresistible charming, and which had most of the people flock to him.

One day, I saw him on the road on my way home. So I thought, "why not?". What followed was 4 hours of conversation in his hostel room, ranging from philosophy and Movies, to Life and Love. I am like that sometimes. I take a minute to decide and then there is no looking back. I had never been wrong.

2 Months of friendship later, began the terror. And ruined 3 years of my life.

I have forgiven, and accepted. But will never forget.

* * *

Genuinely concerned about his health, I said Hi. That was the start.

A few months later we were friends. My buddy kept asking me why we didn't hang out more often, why we didn't talk. I kept saying it was a guy thing. Now I realize it was instinct. Gut Feel. Guess there was something that was protecting me from inevitable pain.

There are always friends, and there are pretenders. To me, friendship doesn't have complaints, demands or secrets. And the only expectation is that it is reciprocated. You fight, argue and forget. You hate, ignore and forget. But the moment you hide, its over.With friends there is no politics. Its not poker, and even if it is, its all in or out.

I realize this now. I wish I hadn't been so willing to get everyone together.

I have forgiven, but I can never accept and will never forget.


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