Just Emkaying: May 2011

May 30, 2011


Over the years DM has hinted at regular Male Behaviour through its subtle posts. We spoke about the difference in Men and Women Drivers, why a book is better than a girl friend (for which we the womens lib army held us up \m/) and of course the How To clean room / Kitchen Series. We also suggested the way men relax in The Art of Meditation. However the fairer society doesn't seem to be getting the hint. (Though they can come up with a wide range of accusations, etc) So we came up with some stuff that could be helpful.

1. When guys are pissed, they want to be left alone. Do NOT ask the following Questions
     - How's my Hair
     - You don't love me anymore
     - (After 5 min) Are you ok now?
     - (After 10 min) Am Bored. Wanna go to a movie?

2. Men love Gadgets. And vice versa. Do Not mess with them.The Gadgets I mean.

3. Men evolved from apes. Apes are messy. So are men. Don't nag them to clean up. Won't help. EVER.

4. NEVER give directions to a guy driving/riding. Catch an auto if you know the way.

5. Magenta, Ruby Red, Scarlet, Sky Blue, Cyan, etc are beyond understanding. Stick to Rainbow definition of  colours.

6. Men instinctively are problem solvers. They look at everything thats not right as a problem. So if you say " I had a horrible day at work" you'll probably get a reply like " Why don't ya quit?"

7. Men are not very good listeners. Especially when your on one of those "she said to her friend, who is the sister of my uncles brother in law, and then they came to...blah blah blah" etc. You want them to listen, tell them before you start!!!

8. Defintiely not good at subtle hints. If your upset, please tell them why!!!

9. Cricket and Football are not to be messed with. Even if Ekta Kapoor is doing the acting in the 47,000th episode of a 5 year old serial on Whose finally going to marry Manav/Ritesh/Amit/etc

10. Men are numbskulls some times. They mess up and get things wrong. But that doesn't mean they don't know it. They're probabaly feeling bad about it and wanna make it up to you. Don't start a nagging riot!!!

Hope this helps!!! (If it doesn't., read again :P )


May 19, 2011

How to Clean the Kitchen

After the oh - so - popular post on How To Clean Your Room , we are back with the next edition on cleanliness ( B-O-R-I-N-G)  for all you lazy Bachelors - "How to Clean the Kitchen"

We do want to warn you though, that if you are planning to get married in the near future, don't try this with the new cutlery. Won't go well with the missus / or the in law's for that matter. And you certainly don't want to let them catch you reading this, so read this like you would read porn. (You Randy Scoundrel, You!!!)

So here goes...

May 18, 2011

You know, Life's a Bitch.

Dear Maddy boy,

The first line we wrote in our diary, much before blogs, vlogs, and others was this...

"I don't know why am writing this."

6 years later we still don't know why. Guess going by that single point we haven't progressed much.

But on the contrary I have. I thought more, bothered more, cared more, loved more and lived more. I did what was morally right and socially acceptable. I kept myself last and pushed on in the hope that I would get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I had it all figured out like Spock from Star Trek.

But I realize now that I was happier when I was a selfish, egoistic, moron who didn't give a shit. You made me change for what was supposed to be right. But was it right?

Your silly notions of right and wrong, good and bad, what ifs and maybes have led to exactly where you are now. And you and I both know that it sucks. BIG TIME.