Just Emkaying: April 2008

Apr 3, 2008


Its been a loooong time since the last post...been quite busy..so some how have got time to put in something... Today I had a experience which has put me in a bit of dilema... It comes to the point when you wanna achieve something, hit your goals, become something. You wanna innovate, put in ideas and make something happen that will revolutionize the way people work. But I realized that though you might have al the talent and strength to do so, sometimes you still lack it. Why?

Why do you feel all positive and charged up; and somewhere along the way fighting and fighting up u get so bogged down that u just wannt to let go. you look around and all you see is what u see within. And Strangely though I have had tough Trials before, I have always come out successfully..

And then it comes to me..like a Bang. all these years I had someone to look up to, that one person who understands you, guides you and u can go to for suggestions. for some pep up n all that... but now I dont. In this age of self motivated executives, I wonder if there really is anything like self motivation?? I always look back and take a look at what my mentors would do..not that they really were my mentors ( I considered them my mentors..and one of them still is guiding me,albeit in a more personal way) but somehow i did consider them as my guides.... At every step I would unconsciously pick someone as a mentor..my college...my MBA..my internship..all these years I did have some kind of Guidance..

But now when am actually walking on my own, in a more complete way I find no one that I would want to look up to...why? Perhaps Because I am not able to pin point some one who would want to be responsible for some one elses success..someone who would guide a generation of youngsters to achieve in their fields..

I have been on my own ever since I came to India in 1996. Hostel Life, college an now work has all been on myself and my self chosen mentors. Things would all fall into place. But today I feel lost. I don know if I am heading the right way. My Priorities seem jumbled...

Is a mentor that imprtant or is it that i Just gotta pull myself together??...

adios amigos